Look, I actually have something old!

[Bo Eder]

Hey all,

Some of my closer friends here know I can change out drum kits like I buy shoes, but today as I was rummaging around in my garage I found an old partially rusted 7-inch mambo-like cowbell made by Gon Bops. It sounds just like the bell used on Honky Tonk Woman and I've included a picture of it below.

I remember being 14 years old (31 years ago) and asking mom if I could have $12 to buy it because I just got my first pro gig working for my high school choir department as their drummer. It was funny how I got the job; I played bass drum in the marching band and the drumline captain (a senior) knew I had a drumset and turned down the offer because he was too drum corps cool, and playing geeky show tunes just wasn't his bag. The director, after telling me he'd pay me $25 a show, asked me if I had a cowbell, and told me he liked the way I played brushes under the choir (obviously something not every 14 year old did now that I look back on it).

You'll forgive me, but the reason all these memories have come rushing back on me is because for the last 31 years now, I've worked with this choir director, and for most of those years I've taken the gig for granted.

Last Saturday this choir director suffered a stroke.

He is expected to fully recover, but this was all so sudden for everyone involved, that we're all a bit in shock. Everything is understandably up in the air, including the coming years. And I took it for granted that I'd always be the drummer, that we'd always be together doing something. We've all become this huge extended family: he and his family, the choreographer, the piano player and other band members, and all the students over the last 30 years. Obviously, we want him well, and if that means he no longer teaches and retires for his health, I'm all for it. But to suddenly (sort of) see the end of an era is a little disconcerting (if not a little selfish, so I apologize).

He and I always had these lengthy discussions over long lunches in Disneyland about what we would do the next year, he'd ask for my input on how best we could tackle an issue, come up with new ideas to try to keep the show choir activity fresh. I think if I had plans to do stuff in the future, but your body just stops you and says "no", I would be seriously pissed, wouldn't you?

I saw a sign today that said "Wouldn't it be cool if youth came later in life?", and with all that's happening surrounding this life event, it was almost a bit much to take. I hope everyone here appreciates every day spent with those you're involved with, especially the music you get to make with people. I've made music with this guy for 31 years without really thinking it could ever end, just assuming we always would. Don't make my mistake, ok?

We're having a benefit concert for his family next weekend to help raise money. Obviously, there will be alot of rehab and therapy going on, and I'm sure his immediate family will be helping him with that, if we can keep them stocked up with food for a while I'm sure it will be helpful. As for that old cowbell, it will come out of retirement and played in his honor at this concert.

[BacteriumFendYoke]

Great story, Matt.

It's a great thing you're doing with the benefit concert. I can attest to how suddenly a stroke can take away a person's livelihood. I recently lost a close family member to a stroke, he spent three weeks in hospital and passed away in front of my very eyes. I don't wish it upon anybody but I'm very happy to hear that he's expected to make a good recovery - that really is excellent news and I wish him all the best.

These professional relationships develop over time and sometimes a man like this giving you a chance when you were young can change everything. It's amazing what an impact these people can have on our lives and what impact they can continue to have.

I had a teacher at school that died a few years ago. It was a very sad event for me because that one teacher was the catalyst for a number of changes that profoundly turned my life around. I was a very angry young man with a lot of issues and a history of violent behaviour and he was the man that finally started the process for that to change.

A benefit concert for the family really is a very noble thing to do and I'm glad that you're in the position to do so. I'm sure you'll play your absolute heart out because this really means something to you. Again, I wish the director well - he sounds like a great guy.

[keep it simple]

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke

Great story, Matt.

It's a great thing you're doing with the benefit concert. I can attest to how suddenly a stroke can take away a person's livelihood. I recently lost a close family member to a stroke, he spent three weeks in hospital and passed away in front of my very eyes. I don't wish it upon anybody but I'm very happy to hear that he's expected to make a good recovery - that really is excellent news and I wish him all the best.

These professional relationships develop over time and sometimes a man like this giving you a chance when you were young can change everything. It's amazing what an impact these people can have on our lives and what impact they can continue to have.

I had a teacher at school that died a few years ago. It was a very sad event for me because that one teacher was the catalyst for a number of changes that profoundly turned my life around. I was a very angry young man with a lot of issues and a history of violent behaviour and he was the man that finally started the process for that to change.

A benefit concert for the family really is a very noble thing to do and I'm glad that you're in the position to do so. I'm sure you'll play your absolute heart out because this really means something to you. Again, I wish the director well - he sounds like a great guy.

I echo every word of BFY's excellent reply. Those who have lost dear ones especially appreciate those precious times we all take for granted. There's a false comfort in the status quo, & it takes something like this to conceptualise mortality & quality relationships.

The cowbell is so much more than a lump of old metal. It encapsulates a bygone era of memories, & you playing it at the benefit will be a tough job, & not without a tear, I bet.

[Anon La Ply]

Agree with Andy - well said Duncan.

Bo, it's such a bummer. You hit middle age and suddenly old heroes, mentors and peers are passing on. You have to enjoy today.

As a side note, my old cowbell rusted too (although no major memories attached). I you checked the shelves, cupboards, basements, trunks and cases of DW members I imagine you'd uncover a fair few rusted old cowbells :)

[GRUNTERSDAD]

Clean the bell up, get it engraved and give it to him.

[fixxxer]

Sorry to hear about your mentor and friend. Cheers to you for doing the benefit concert! I agree 100% with The Mayor- what a great gift that would be!
This is a good reminder to us all to never take for granted the time that we have with the ones we care about and to never let life take over us to the extent that we don' make that time.

[BacteriumFendYoke]

Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD

Clean the bell up, get it engraved and give it to him.

That is actually a superb suggestion.

[Anon La Ply]

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke

That is actually a superb suggestion.

+1 It's perfect!