How to write a music ad

The follow-up posts are Craigslist are often pretty funny. People get pretty vicious putting down each others' music and talent.

This is kinda off topic but Craigslist has brought me hours upon hours of hilarious enjoyment... check out the "Best Of" section or the "Rants and Raves" section... or just any of it. There are some whacked out people in this world, thankfully you can meet alot of them at CL!
 
Here is a great Craigslist ad with apparently made-up/incredibly obscure band names, including the mandatory Sunny Day (Real Estate). You cannot be cool if you do not mention SDRE and you must mention as many unknown bands as possible to impress readers:

"...We are into bands like Mineral, The Apple Seed Cast, Sunny Day, The Fire Theft, Minus the Bear and the list would go on and on.... We both have professional gear and have played in a few bands together so far. We are looking for some one that is down for creating music for the sake of being creative ...
 
Lol . . That's a riot DMC

My Adds

Have contacts in the industry. If you have contacts in the industry, why are you getting a bass player on CL

Paid Gigs waiting . . you're savvy enough to know how to get paid gigs; but not savvy enough to have had any musician friends that you can call for those waiting gigs. I would like to meet this club owner whose keeping Dec 31 open til you find a your cellist.

No head cases. Uh . . . Maybe you're in the wrong industry.

Here's another one too funny. This guy says to me he's having trouble playing rock and roll and with the time and playing in the pocket in rock music. He wants to get in a band that plays TOP. That would work out better.
 
Or a 'marital aid'...

Brady, if you ever do an ink blot test I think I can gess your results :)


Deltadrummer said:
This guy says to me he's having trouble playing rock and roll and with the time and playing in the pocket in rock music. He wants to get in a band that plays TOP

So he can't play the easiest possible style ... did he say what he CAN play?
 
Here's another good Craigslist ad: mandatory SDRE mention along with unheard-of and possibly nonexistent bands:

"Bass player with about 12 years experience looking for a band. not looking to take over the world, but i'd like to take the project seriously. i have good gear, my own ride, and i have no issues. my main influences are sunny day real estate, hum, christie front drive, poison the well, and coheend and cambria. I'd like to do something epic sounding."
 
Dang, they just keep coming. Another from Seattle with a few bands that really do exist sprinkled in:

"These are the bands I love:
Walt Mink, Chavez, Other Men, Heavy Vegetable, Sunny Day Real Estate, Fugazi, Tool, Dino Jr, Sebadoh, Smash Pump, Ween, Weezer, Mew, Pinback, Built To Spill, Pavement…..The list goes on. I also love Medeski, Martin & Wood."
 
So he can't play the easiest possible style ... did he say what he CAN play?

This guy is an acquaintance of mine who is a really nice guy. He doesn't really know his limitations on the kit. He's thinking that he can't play rock because it's not sophisticated enough for his great playing ability. That attitude is very indicative of what you get out there, esp on CL.. :)
 
This guy is an acquaintance of mine who is a really nice guy. He doesn't really know his limitations on the kit. He's thinking that he can't play rock because it's not sophisticated enough for his great playing ability. That attitude is very indicative of what you get out there, esp on CL.. :)

Wow, small world!

Interesting concept ... to be unable to play music that is beneath you. He might be a nice guy but the grapes he's eating sound as though they're a tad sour :)
 
I had no idea I could be so entertained in the Off Topic Lounge! I should come here more often! This is a great thread.

So that's why the guests at my last gig laughed when I said I found my band on Craig's List....
 
I had no idea I could be so entertained in the Off Topic Lounge! I should come here more often! This is a great thread.

So that's why the guests at my last gig laughed when I said I found my band on Craig's List....

Yeah, a CRAIGSLIST BAND! Craigslist Killers would be a good name. Drums with steep tom angles, trashed instruments, everyone dressed like a schlub and wearing ankle monitoring bracelets.

"Influences: Sunny Day Real Estate, The DUIs, Meth Lab 6, Just Paroled, Demon Vomit."
 
Yeah, a CRAIGSLIST BAND! Craigslist Killers would be a good name. Drums with steep tom angles, trashed instruments, everyone dressed like a schlub and wearing ankle monitoring bracelets.

"Influences: Sunny Day Real Estate, The DUIs, Meth Lab 6, Just Paroled, Demon Vomit."

Well, in our last video post, we didn't have the ankle bracelets, but we did look like schlubs. Why you gotta bring me down?

;)
 
More made-up and obscure band names from a local Craigslist ad:

"We already have around 7 songs, and just need a drummer. Our influences are pretty much Circle Takes The Square, Bear Vs. Shark, Indian Summer, Deerhoof, Battles, girls in the eighties, Gay For Johnny Depp"
 
If there was such thing as truth in craigslist, ads would read something like:

Drummer needed.
Must be creative in coming up with different beats, because all our songs have the same guitar rhythms, and someone needs to make our songs sound different.

Must be willing to rehearse 7 nights a week, because at most we can commit is one or two, but we want to make sure you don't have any conflicts on those few days we can actually get it together.

Must be able to play to a click, because lord knows the bass player can't.

Must be a team player, and by team, we mean you'll do whatever we tell you to do, with no opinions of your own.

Must be a quick learner, because we often forget our own songs, and it would be helpful if you could be there to remind us how they go.

Must be sober and drug free, because we need a designated driver.

Must be financially secure, because we have no money, and when we finally make it big, we're not sharing the publishing with you anyways.

Every time I think about just about any add I've ever responded to at any point in my life, I think of this list.
 
This thread inspired me to dig out my old Sunny Day Real Estate CD and put it on my iPod. Thanks :)
 
i believe you forgot a few criteria.

9. gigs must be booked before a complete band is formed, expect 20 #1 hits to be churned out within a few hours at most.
10. always ask for a rehearsal space and equipment for you to use because your mothers basement just isn't big enough for the colossus that this band will be and your "pro" walmart brand drum kit "now in adult sizes!" if just oozing with too much awesomeness to allow it to be used for actually playing music...
11. must be 420 friendly cuz i'm jones'n, i have no money, and my pot dealer cut me off. oh and by the way bring some beer too.
12. all potential band mates must be the opposite sexxx and hottt cuz the music scene is really a giant dating pool i otherwise should be shunned.

at least these are the normal qualities be searched for on our cl. i'll go look around a bit and i'm sure there will be more to come.....

oh yeah one more..
mUz TyPe LiK dIs AnD sPeLl LiK a 3Rd gRaDeR tO lUk KeWL
 
"Flinching Midget Dick" is such a cool name, it makes me wish there really was a band called that. Didn't they open for Descended Testicle?

"we have been trhu atleast 6 drummers in the last year or so and none of them were good enuff. they had a bad attitude. we are all great musicans and are playing the hotest indy rock in town for sure. we have attrackted major industrey labels and will be signed soon. do you have wat it takes? must have blazin double bass skills and chops and be able to top out at 280 bpm for long songs. the harder the better!!!! beat those skinz!!!! influences include molly's wet hatchback. green incisors - fuzzywang - flinching midget dick - gypsy nipples and more. we have profesional gear and attitudes and you should to. and your own transportation. a little 420 is cool to. email zach the dark and put "SEROUS DRUMMER" IN THE subject line or we wont even answer the email."
 
"Flinching Midget Dick" is such a cool name, it makes me wish there really was a band called that. Didn't they open for Descended Testicle?

"we have been trhu atleast 6 drummers in the last year or so and none of them were good enuff. they had a bad attitude. we are all great musicans and are playing the hotest indy rock in town for sure. we have attrackted major industrey labels and will be signed soon. do you have wat it takes? must have blazin double bass skills and chops and be able to top out at 280 bpm for long songs. the harder the better!!!! beat those skinz!!!! influences include molly's wet hatchback. green incisors - fuzzywang - flinching midget dick - gypsy nipples and more. we have profesional gear and attitudes and you should to. and your own transportation. a little 420 is cool to. email zach the dark and put "SEROUS DRUMMER" IN THE subject line or we wont even answer the email."

;)

....................................................................................
 
Way to bring Sunny Day Real Estate back. Haha.
 
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