How do you tell your frontman that we dont want him anymore?

Hey Todd, we're not doing this any more. Then, reform something 'different' without him.

Take it from someone who has been on the raw end of this type of deal - it is PAINFUL. And I was bitter for years the way the band I helped form, diced me out of the equation by doing this in an underhanded fashion. It would have sucked to be told to my face why they were getting rid of me (which they never did explain), but I would have been able to recover quicker and move on.

If you are firing the guy, tell him exactly why and to his face, in as kind of a way as possibly.

The other option is to tell him what issues you have with him, and give the guy one more chance to prove himself or he's going to be replaced. Then his destiny is in his own hands. Shape up or be shipped out.
 
So, we ripped the bandaid off last night. It was just as bad as we all thought...Todd overreacted, just as I thought he was going too. Threatened to go trash all of our gear(including the other bands stuff that we share the room with). We have been contact with our landlord already, and his name is being removed from the lease agreement. Im purchasing a latch lock with a combo lock to put on the room. Of course, he was drunk while telling him that we're done, so he started flipping out. Instead of arguing with him, I told him I would call him tomorrow(which is today)and explain because I wasnt wasting my time trying to argue and fight when he was drunk.
He knew why we were upset with him. He knows that hes been going down the spiral. I told him last night if hes got so many problems, then step back. Noone is going to look down at him for taking a break and figuring your own personal demons out. He wouldnt hear of it. Just kept talking crap that this was HIS band and that hes already got people lined up to play with him and everything else. I just bascially shook my head and said whatever. I wasnt about to get into a pissing match with someone like him. I just cant wait til this week is over, and have all this crap behind me so I can move on with my life, and prepare for the birth of my son. Thanks everyone who offered their advice....it was greatly appreciated.
 
Wow, sometimes people do over react. Still beware of the crazy musician!!!

I quit a band once to join a better band. Anyway a member of that band over reacted and trashed my Pearl Masters Kit. The the damn legal system works is since I was not around at the time this happened and didn't see anything and the band said they didn't do it, nothing could be done to them. I did find out years later which member did it and that the band fired him on the road and returned the favor of smashing his gear and left him behind.

The bright side of having my my Pearl kit smashed was a well off fan of me bought me a DW kit for me to play in my next band.
 
The fact that he was drunk when he was told of his fate is another indicator of his problems. You guys did the right thing, despite the ugly reaction. One can only hope that he gets past the denial stage and realizes he needs help and then gets the help.
 
The fact that he was drunk when he was told of his fate is another indicator of his problems. You guys did the right thing, despite the ugly reaction. One can only hope that he gets past the denial stage and realizes he needs help and then gets the help.

His problem is that hes already gotten the help, and then said he doesnt need it. Hes got a blood clot the size of a baseball in his leg, his doctors keep telling him to stop drinking and smoking, or its going to kill him. He lives his whole life in a cloud of denial, and theres no hope for this guy. Its sad, because he was doing really good for a while. Then he just started going downhill again. Im sad to lose a friend, as anyone would be. But Im relieved at the same time to not have to deal with the crap anymore. Thanks again for the words of advice.
 
It would be so much easier if we as musicians approached being in a band as the job that it is. What I mean by that is, when people start screwing up, talk to them about it, so that you have it on "record." Also that treats everyone in the band as an adult, let's them know what is expected of them and/or what their responsibilities are.
Wouldn't you rather know that something you are doing with a band is not working, BEFORE, they kick you out?
It is amazing to me how many of us, me included, turn into chickens when it comes to talking to a band member about something that is pissing us off so much so that the joy has gone out of playing with that band?
I'll bet most of us wouldn't think twice about telling that jerk at work to stop doing whatever it is that pisses us off, or going to our boss about something we don't like at work. Why is being in a band any different?
Just my $.02 worth.
 
Getting him to stay around and be an effective band manager could be quite problematic. The only way I can see that continued relationship working is if it his idea. If you have patience, you can make suggestions over time that he would be best in management role, looking for his reaction. If he seems interested in it, then push him there. If it seems quite adverse to it, then I believe you have to part ways completely.
 
If I was Todd, and you wanted me to hang about after you fired me, you'd have to empty the urine out of your drums before you played again. Seriously, if that was his reaction to the man to man chat about things, run away fast and don't look back! It's going to be ugly!
 
Nice to see ya, nice to see ya go.

I know the type. They seem connected because they have the gift of the gab so you overlook their obvious flaws. Then you find the band's not getting anywhere.

Been there, done that, and I have 30 years of office work to show for it.
 
I had an extremely similar problem once. Unfortunately, any way you slice it, if the dude wants to be in the band, he's gonna' be upset. But if he has any decent composure to him, he'll get over it and move on.
 
You did well bro. You guys got rid of a real problem, a problem that could've grown with time.
 
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wake him up, tell him "come with us" and you left him in a bus station with no money only with his tikets for a bus with New York destination L0L
 
I know the type. They seem connected because they have the gift of the gab so you overlook their obvious flaws. Then you find the band's not getting anywhere.
.

I honestly have been looking for the exact way to describe this guy....Ive never felt it said better. That exactly sums this guy up.
 
I honestly have been looking for the exact way to describe this guy....Ive never felt it said better. That exactly sums this guy up.

I've had lots of time to think of the words ... he managed to destroy two bands I was in during the 80s with his unreliability, slackness and manipulative BS. But we can't forget the weak fools who persevered with him for years and let him wreck it all ... good that you weren't a fool!

For the record, "Nice to see ya, nice to see ya go" was the line the bar manager had at closing time about 30 years ago :)
 
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