Booted out of band, advice needed

Not a weekend band - My arsehole alarm would be exploding.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a weekend warrior. It's the only way those of us who do this wacky thing called work can live the dream.

You'll find this guitarist with a messianic complex won't do much with an attitude like this. Don't suffer fools. Was he earning you a living? Nope, you won't remember who they were in a couple of years.

There's a scene everywhere, it's finding it that's the bitch.

Don't sell your stuff!
 
Sell your gear for rent? What will you do when that money runs out? Looks like that job isn't paying you enough to live on.
 
Hi guys,

Thanks for the support and suggestions to not sell my kit. Just to be clear though it was never going to be to completely pay the rent, just help out a bit.

The situation has got worse since last post. the group were recording a promotional video of our last concert and have now started posting it on various forums and social media platforms. I consider this to be quite insulting because the exit has now been made very public and I will have to explain the situation to everyone who comes across this. Into the bargain the guitarist has started bad mouthing me around town and considering his opinion is quite highly regarded by other musicians my reputation is now dirt where I live.
 
Hi guys,

Into the bargain the guitarist has started bad mouthing me around town and considering his opinion is quite highly regarded by other musicians my reputation is now dirt where I live.

If this is any indication of how he treats people, my guess is his reputation isn't what you think it is. People may smile to his face, but I am sure behind his back there is quite a bit of eye rolling happening.
 
Hi guys,

Thanks for the support and suggestions to not sell my kit. Just to be clear though it was never going to be to completely pay the rent, just help out a bit.

The situation has got worse since last post. the group were recording a promotional video of our last concert and have now started posting it on various forums and social media platforms. I consider this to be quite insulting because the exit has now been made very public and I will have to explain the situation to everyone who comes across this. Into the bargain the guitarist has started bad mouthing me around town and considering his opinion is quite highly regarded by other musicians my reputation is now dirt where I live.

Ok, this guy sounds like a total (insert expletive)! You’re definitely better off without him, people like him think they’re all that and really all it does is make him enemies. Is this guy highly regarded, or does HE think he’s highly regarded? Hope there’s a happy ending to this story!
 
Hi guys,

Thanks for the support and suggestions to not sell my kit. Just to be clear though it was never going to be to completely pay the rent, just help out a bit.

The situation has got worse since last post. the group were recording a promotional video of our last concert and have now started posting it on various forums and social media platforms. I consider this to be quite insulting because the exit has now been made very public and I will have to explain the situation to everyone who comes across this. Into the bargain the guitarist has started bad mouthing me around town and considering his opinion is quite highly regarded by other musicians my reputation is now dirt where I live.

Dude...snap out of it. You're in charge of your reputation. You're in charge of when and where you play again and in charge of whether you're gonna keep playing. Why do you give one guy so much sway over what you do? This might sound harsh, but I say stop moping and get on with what it is that you want to do.
 
If part of the proceeds of the sale of your kit go towards paying rent this month, and some next month, sooner or later you will have used up all of the money from the sale of the kit. Then what happens?

How will you pay for the unforeseen curveballs that life throws your way?
 
Hi guys,

Thanks for the support and suggestions to not sell my kit. Just to be clear though it was never going to be to completely pay the rent, just help out a bit.

The situation has got worse since last post. the group were recording a promotional video of our last concert and have now started posting it on various forums and social media platforms. I consider this to be quite insulting because the exit has now been made very public and I will have to explain the situation to everyone who comes across this. Into the bargain the guitarist has started bad mouthing me around town and considering his opinion is quite highly regarded by other musicians my reputation is now dirt where I live.

Unless you've signed a release or given explicit permission to do so, they can't use your likeness. You can force them to take you out of the video and if you have any ownership in the music, you may be able to keep them from using it or at least not use it w/o compensating you.
 
These dudes sound like they're not worth your time

One vote here for starting the music scene where you're going
 
Dude, I went as far as getting rid of my drums, but I've always kept my necessary cymbals and hardware for a set-up. If you're really serious about taking a break from drumming, at least hold on to your hardware and and some cymbals. Are you not a drummer?

I'm not going to judge you, just saying...
 
I guess I'm fortunate coming from a musical family. When I was out of the country for two years, I simply handed off my gear to my siblings. I can only imagine how my 16yr-old brother felt at the time, touring in a punk band playing my 75 Les Paul Deluxe on a 78' Marshall 2104 combo.
 
Hi guys,

Thanks for the support and suggestions to not sell my kit. Just to be clear though it was never going to be to completely pay the rent, just help out a bit.

The situation has got worse since last post. the group were recording a promotional video of our last concert and have now started posting it on various forums and social media platforms. I consider this to be quite insulting because the exit has now been made very public and I will have to explain the situation to everyone who comes across this. Into the bargain the guitarist has started bad mouthing me around town and considering his opinion is quite highly regarded by other musicians my reputation is now dirt where I live.

I wouldn't stress for a single second about any impact on your reputation. Mr Primo wanted you to leave because your change of work pattern means you can't be available 24/7, that's all it was - his whining and sniping like a little bi*ch now he has no drummer won't impress anyone. Move on, make sure you have all your gear from any rehearsal space etc and just chalk it up to experience. There is always a shortage of drummers - primos are 10 a penny.
 
My take it you weren't booted form the band, you made yourself unavailable to the band.

You made the decision to work the job that removes you from the situation, not them.

As for being in any promo videos, well, you were part of the band when they were filmed. You knew what they could be used for when you agreed to be filmed.

Lots of bands loose members, but they don't pull the albums from stores or videos off TV/Internet over it.

Breaking up with a band sucks. I've been through it multiple times. I get that.
But their is nothing insulting about them making it known you are no longer with them, because it's a fact.
 
The situation has got worse since last post. the group were recording a promotional video of our last concert and have now started posting it on various forums and social media platforms. I consider this to be quite insulting because the exit has now been made very public and I will have to explain the situation to everyone who comes across this. Into the bargain the guitarist has started bad mouthing me around town and considering his opinion is quite highly regarded by other musicians my reputation is now dirt where I live.

This is a little melodramatic no? C'mon, dig deep here and don't be a victim. Somebody's words are going to crush your spirit to drum?
Explain what 'situation' to who? You're leaving. People leave jobs every day.
The guitarist? Just another guy, and sounds like an arse at that. Who cares what he says if you're leaving?
Maybe get off social media if this bothers you.

If you have made up your mind to leave just do it and get on with your life's plans. Just don't sell your gear or keep some subset of it.
 
Hang it up mate. Someone will take your gig. By the sound of it someone will take your job too. Maybe your dog as well. Put your big boy pants on.
 
Thanks for the further advice guys, I have decided not to sell the drums and just be a lot more thick skinned in the future. I guess I was just hurt after playing one of the best shows I've ever done and being told we have no time for you anymore. Then being publicly shamed didn't help either. The group are currently refusing to remove videos from social media but I'm choosing just to ignore this childish behaviour and rise above.

I've already started looking for bands in the local area where I'm going to live and have been in contact with a few so seems every cloud has a silver lining eh?
 
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