reporting in (downer alert)

A very wise friend once told me "The price of love is grief". I can testify that that is true... I lost both of my parents in the last 10 years, and very few are the days where I don't think of them. Both were in the throes of horrendous Alzheimer's and physical deterioration, and it was unquestionably a blessing for both when they finally found their peace.

It was very hard at the time. But it does indeed get easier with time. Be good to yourself, and let yourself grieve- and enjoy your family doubly at the sendoff.
 
Wise words from everyone... I too send my condolences. I went through this a few years ago, lost both my parents within one year. This is one of those things we all share, and experience, if we live long enough. Hang in there, man.
 
I'm sorry to hear that, Bo. May your Dad rest in peace. Much strength to you and your Mom.

Diego
 
Wise words from everyone. I am sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
 
I enjoyed your comment about him always being interested in your latest gear. I think as sons that makes us feel like DAD digs what we are doing, and that is cool. Good memory to hold onto. He is better off now, and you can remember him from a better time is his life.
 
Matt, just remember you're not alone. Over the last few months and years a few people on this board have lost family and I know what a difficult time it can be for everyone involved. Needless to say that your family and friends will be there for you and you will be there for them. I'm glad that you can take the positives from this and I hope that continues.

There's not much more I can say. I'm sorry for your loss.
 
I've been wondering if medical technology is so great these days - according to the doctors, all kinds of things could've been done to prolong dad's agony, and mom smartly chose not to do that. As much as you hate to lose someone to cancer (or to anything) the relief of seeing him peacefully at rest as I said my final good-bye was much better than I thought it would be.

I lost both of my parents in the last 10 years, and very few are the days where I don't think of them. Both were in the throes of horrendous Alzheimer's and physical deterioration, and it was unquestionably a blessing for both when they finally found their peace.

I relate to both of these because my sister died of cancer in January and Dad died with severe vascular dementia in May. Diseases with slow decline like dementia and cancer change the dynamics of grief.

You expect the classic sharp sting of grief but instead it's more like a low level ache over a long period. By the time the person dies you've already come to the acceptance stage (thinking Kubler-Ross's seven stages of grief here) and feeling guilty because you not only don't feel the stab of grief, but you also feel relief that the ordeal is over - the indignities, the boredom and the increasing pain and discomfort.

I'll never forget seeing Dad the morning that he died - it was shocking. I walked out of the hospital feeling really disturbed at the prospect of him continuing life in that state so it was a huge relief when I got the call that night to say he'd passed. Had to get the nephew to drive me up because I was so baked lol. I looked at the shrivelled little dead man on the gurney and tried to cry and I couldn't because, in truth, I'd lost him about a year earlier.

I find it strange how little progress we've made in cancer and dementia prevention and cure. Despite some improvements, it's still basically a lottery. Deep down we all know that the Big C can strike at any time and that if you live long enough there's a strong chance you'll start losing your mind.

It's hard to think of any fields deserving of higher priority in the health area.
 
I lost my dad in April from cancer.

I know how it feels. I had a concert a week after his death and it was weird.

He should do the do not resuscitate thing, for the most part dying would be less painful that be resuscitated because they will more than likely break open his rub cage to bring him back. Then he would really be wishing he was dead.
 
Deepest sympathies to you and your family Bo.
 
Hi Bo,

Sorry I missed this a few days ago. My condolences to you and your family.

Hang in there.
 
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