How do you tell your frontman that we dont want him anymore?

blastbeatkeeper

Senior Member
Ok, this may get lengthy, but here it goes....

So, our frontman, isnt much of a frontman. Other than being one of the 2 remaining original members(myself included), we dont have any more reason to have him in the band. He hasnt always been the best lead singer, more or less, just into the whole party scene. Boozing, forgetting words to the songs, not showing up to practices, paying our room rent up to 2 weeks late. This is just some of the things weve dealt with with Todd, as we will call him. Ultimately, what we are looking for, is for Todd to step aside and manage the band, along with run his promotion buisness, and we will bring in a different frontman. We already have someone interested, so finding another singer isnt going to be a problem. The biggest thing is, is how do we tell Todd. Hes one to bug out, and flip a lid over stupid stuff. Do we tell him straight up? Do we offer an ultimatum of, look. You need to get your crap together, or else we are going to replace you. Or do we just lay it on the line. Tell him that we need to have him step aside and start to manage the band so we can bring in another sionger so that we can start progressing forward. Has anyone dealt with this? How did you do it? Im good friends with Todd, and I just know that he will end up flipping out, but I dont know what he will do when he flips out. Anyone? someone?
 
No matter what, it's gonna be a mess. My suggestion is be straight up, without attacking. Never use the word "You". Always use the word "We". Rather than say, "you're not doing this or that" say "we feel that as a result of forgetting words, tardiness etc. we want so and so to front the band". It will still make emotions fly I'm sure, it's unavoidable. So just accept that, expect it, don't engage him, let him blow off his steam, don't react, and stand firm. (Like a parent when a kid is throwing a tantrum. Stay calm)

I don't have much sympathy for someone who doesn't do their job. I just quit a band I have been in since 2004 because the main guy....his skills have gone backwards to the point that he's falling apart musically. I work hard to keep my skills up. If he had just maintained his prior level, I wouldn't be upset, but he was digressing with every gig and rehearsal. Finally I had enough and walked out. I detailed everything that I felt in an email, I called him out on everything. He offered excuses which I flat out didn't buy and told him why I didn't buy them.

So he feels I attacked him. I just offered my perceptions of what was going on, and like I said, I have no sympathies for grown men who don't do their job. He needed to hear the harsh truth. It was an act of kindness, really. If I didn't care about him, I wouldn't have attacked him lol. I'm not afraid of ruffling feathers anymore. I kind of like it actually :) Can I break the news to him?

You could show him this thread too....
 
Huh? you want "Todd" to step aside and manage the band? What could possibly go wrong with that arrangement?

I'm with Larry....Hey Todd, you're fired.
 
Hey Todd, we're not doing this any more. Then, reform something 'different' without him.

A band I was in did that, within hours 4 of us quit around the leader, and within a day we were back practicing in a new band, happy as larks.
problem in this situation is they want the singer to quit but then to manage the band.

I agree it will be a negative reaction, and one in which you cannot expect him to agree to manage but not be the 'lead'. There's a certain amount of ego to be swallowed. Lead singers not known to swallow ego. My guess is if you are firing your singer you are also firing your manager and will need to find one of those too.

I work around people all day, but there' s no drama quite like 'band drama'
 
How would things be different if he managed the band? You say he doesn't have the professionalism to contribute musically, yet you feel he can lead your band forward as a manager. He made bad decisions as a member of the band. You should be prepared because he may make bad decisions as a manager also.

Based on what you told us, it sounds like you all want him out. I do understand you have a friendship and that makes things difficult. Good luck.
 
Huh? you want "Todd" to step aside and manage the band? What could possibly go wrong with that arrangement?

How would things be different if he managed the band? You say he doesn't have the professionalism to contribute musically, yet you feel he can lead your band forward as a manager. He made bad decisions as a member of the band. You should be prepared because he may make bad decisions as a manager also.

+3.

Makes no sense to me.

As for the firing. Do it as a band. Sit him down and tell him where he's gone wrong and that you guys wanna continue without him. Wish him well and crack on with it.

It's never easy, but if it's gotta be done, it's gotta be done. Don't prolong the agony.....rip it off like a band aid.
 
OK, with all the "negative" aspects of this cat, you want him to manage the band. WRONG.​
Fire the guy .... simple .... "Todd, you're fired!" You've already got a guy in the wings to replace him ... so do it. Once that's done, either you guys manage yourselves, or you find a "real" manager. Don't hire Todd, the boozer party animal. If he can't pay rent on time ... you're gonna get him to handle financial band deals? Not a good plan.​
 
Ok, this may get lengthy, but here it goes....

So, our frontman, isnt much of a frontman. Other than being one of the 2 remaining original members(myself included), we dont have any more reason to have him in the band. He hasnt always been the best lead singer, more or less, just into the whole party scene. Boozing, forgetting words to the songs, not showing up to practices, paying our room rent up to 2 weeks late. This is just some of the things weve dealt with with Todd, as we will call him. Ultimately, what we are looking for, is for Todd to step aside and manage the band, along with run his promotion buisness, and we will bring in a different frontman. We already have someone interested, so finding another singer isnt going to be a problem. The biggest thing is, is how do we tell Todd. Hes one to bug out, and flip a lid over stupid stuff. Do we tell him straight up? Do we offer an ultimatum of, look. You need to get your crap together, or else we are going to replace you. Or do we just lay it on the line. Tell him that we need to have him step aside and start to manage the band so we can bring in another sionger so that we can start progressing forward. Has anyone dealt with this? How did you do it? Im good friends with Todd, and I just know that he will end up flipping out, but I dont know what he will do when he flips out. Anyone? someone?

I am baffled. If you don't want him as a frontman because he is irresponsible, why on earth would you want him as a manager? Sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. I almost want you to do it anyway as it will produce some very entertaining stories.
 
Well, first of all, I completely understand with what you guys are all saying....and in hind sight, it makes no sense at all.
Secondly, were an underground hardcore band....its not like were playing shows and walking out with hundreds of dollars in our pockets after every show. I think the most this band has made in its 2 years of being a band was 180 bucks in one night...the ironic part is that it was a show completely put together, promoted, and organized by Todd. Thats the reason we thought about having him stick around as our promoter/manager, due to the fact that when he wants to, he can make stuff happen.
We have already agreed that we are going to sit him down as a band and talk to him. We just dont know if we should offer an ultimatum, give it one more chance, or just fire him outright. And you guys are right. It doesnt make sense to put the managing resposibility on someone who cant even handle being the lead singer of a band. He is a good promoter, but I guess instead of taking the chance in having him screw us over, it would just be best to sever all ties and go from here. Thanks, everyone. I appreciate it.
 
Well, first of all, I completely understand with what you guys are all saying....and in hind sight, it makes no sense at all.
Secondly, were an underground hardcore band....its not like were playing shows and walking out with hundreds of dollars in our pockets after every show. I think the most this band has made in its 2 years of being a band was 180 bucks in one night...the ironic part is that it was a show completely put together, promoted, and organized by Todd. Thats the reason we thought about having him stick around as our promoter/manager, due to the fact that when he wants to, he can make stuff happen.
We have already agreed that we are going to sit him down as a band and talk to him. We just dont know if we should offer an ultimatum, give it one more chance, or just fire him outright. And you guys are right. It doesnt make sense to put the managing resposibility on someone who cant even handle being the lead singer of a band. He is a good promoter, but I guess instead of taking the chance in having him screw us over, it would just be best to sever all ties and go from here. Thanks, everyone. I appreciate it.

I've been reading this thread for the last 2 days, and I have been in similar situations in bands before.

Historically Blast, have you had a discussion with Todd related to the issue(s) concerned?

If you haven't, then perhaps a discussion highlighting the issues with him, and offering an ultimatum could be what's needed, providing that the discussion could be handled in a friendly manner. Todd might agree and make the necessary effort to improve upon the issues being discussed.

As far as the singing/managing offering is concerned, there's a few things to consider, someone who's not a brilliant show man and singer could be a good manager and/or promoter, it all lies at what someone's best when it comes to these issues, since you've said that if he puts is mind to it, he can be very effecient, perhaps his strong skills is not being the frontman, perhaps he'll be better at organising and promoting your band from a background point of view. Also, being a friend to you, it could be the best of both world.

Just my 2c.
 
Too much passive aggression in the world these days.

Be honest. He may be upset, but you'll earn respect for just being a man and telling him straight. Especially if he's a friend. And if not, then was he really much of a friend?
 
We have not actually sat down and laid it out in front of him, no. We have been on his a$$ about writing lyrics for new songs(we have 3 musically arranged songs in the wings, but no lyrics yet), forgetting lyrics, having to chase him down for lineups for the night, and been on him about making a proper set list(I know set list isnt really that important, but when you say your going to take that responsibility, then do it). We, as a band, just discussed this amongst ourselves, at yet another practice Todd has missed, this past Tuesday, and have come to the conclusion that he needs to go. We are just on the fence of either completely out, or taking over the managerial/promotions area, and letting him stay associated with the band that way.
 
perhaps his strong skills is not being the frontman, perhaps he'll be better at organising and promoting your band from a background point of view.

Although his attitude speaks volumes mate.

We are just on the fence of either completely out, or taking over the managerial/promotions area, and letting him stay associated with the band that way.

From what you've presented here, it sounds like he couldn't organise a shag in a brothel. Honestly, how do you think he's gonna handle the organisational skills required to manage a band if he can't even organise to get himself to practice? Given I've only heard your side of this saga, but it very much sounds like he'd struggle to run a bath......how's he gonna go running a band?

I believe in giving everyone a fair go and everyone deserves a second chance. But you've asked various requirements of him and he's delivered on none of them. Is he really gonna change his approach overnight? Only you guys know.
 
Why wouldn't want my front man? You don't even know my front man!
 
One of the most important things you can develop as a musician is your reputation.

Even the folks you dont really want to work with will effect how the general music community views you.

Are there other projects he is involved in you can encourage?

Are there other opportunities you could spend a little time developing for him?

If so, you could help him find a more sutable project to be involved in at the same time...then take a break...let him work the other project....then come back together sans unwanted member and find a new frontman...

...all while maintaining good will...

a little excessivly hopeful but win/win situation seeking is something highly prized.


..and should you need him to fill-in down the road you will still be on good terms...if not better terms...and you wont have to sacrifice playing opportunities...another reputation bonus!
 
The only other project he has going on is he is currently setting up shows at a newer venue around the city we live in. Other than that, the band is his only other "commitment". I am actually getting ready to take a break from the band as I am expecting a son in September. We do have one small tour lined up the middle of next month(one successful mission on Todd's part) going from NY to PA to NJ, and working our way back up to Albany area. After that, Im done with shows until after the new year so I can be home with my newborn son and be helpin out with, ya know, the fatherly duties(I already have a 10 year old...should be cake, right?? hahaha)
So, maybe during that break, the band can get together for dinner or something and just sit down and talk and lay it out on the line:Get your sh*t together, Todd, and we need to burst back on to the scene when time comes. If hes not on board with it, then goodbye. We will find someone else who wants to have this band ready, and make it live to its full potential.
 
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