How best to kick some one out of the band?

you know you have a very valid point dios, nicely put.
 
THIS. IS. SPARTA.


ROFL!!! LMFAO!!!!! I'm using this one next time.


sparta.jpg
 
Ah... 'tis a much CRUELER thing to let someone float through life wasting other artist's time because of DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR. Hey, some people can bounce back, work harder and practice more and the "how-do-ya-like-me-now?" motivation could be just what they need. It has been my experience though that when it comes to vocalists/ singers, as in the case of the original poster, you've either got it or you don't. No amount of practice is going to make a truly poor singer into a great one so the best thing to do to those people is shut them down and crush any singing ambitions from their heart-of-hearts. You see THOSE people at nickel beer Karaoke every Tuesday at the Come On Inn.

I agree with you for the most part, diosdude. But what is gained by being confrontational at the point of letting someone know that their services aren't needed any longer? Especially when they're right there, in person. Uhhh...awkward.

I've always thought that you can get more with sugar than you can with vinegar. And this philosophy has worked for me much more than it hasn't.

Besides, you may regret being so brazen in your way of dropping a band mate more than you realize. And the next thing you know, you're dead of lead poisoning.

Not to be corny but, you may wanna treat others like YOU wanna be treated. Most of the time, pain won't follow that practice.
 
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I agree with you for the most part, diosdude. But what is gained by being confrontational at the point of letting someone know that there services aren't needed any longer?

I've always thought that you can get more with sugar than you can with vinegar. And this philosophy has worked for me much more than it hasn't.

Besides, you may regret being so brazen in your way of dropping a band mate more than you realize. And the next thing you know, you're dead of lead poisoning.

Not to be corny but, you may wanna treat others like YOU wanna be treated. Most of the time, pain won't follow that practice.


If i truly sucked at something, i would want someone to tell me so. I would rather be the guy that is cruel to someone's face and let them know that they were awful than be the "nice guy" who tries to nourish and encourage a lost cause to that person's face and then privately, behind their back on some internet forum rant about how awful that person was and how great a guy i was for not hurting their feelings.

Tough love.

Honesty is the best policy, not saying you have to be cruel, but for god's sake, I'm a man, treat me like a man, if you have criticism, let me have it, i can take it and i can't grow without it.

But as moldy pointed out, I'm a metalhead. Maybe if i played kid's music or light adult contemporary I'd try Pollyanna's "It's not you, it's me, we should see other bands" thing, lol.
 
If i truly sucked at something, i would want someone to tell me so. I would rather be the guy that is cruel to someone's face and let them know that they were awful than be the "nice guy" who tries to nourish and encourage a lost cause to that person's face and then privately, behind their back on some internet forum rant about how awful that person was and how great a guy i was for not hurting their feelings.

Tough love.

Honesty is the best policy, not saying you have to be cruel, but for god's sake, I'm a man, treat me like a man, if you have criticism, let me have it, i can take it and i can't grow without it.

But as moldy pointed out, I'm a metalhead. Maybe if i played kid's music or light adult contemporary I'd try Pollyanna's "It's not you, it's me, we should see other bands" thing, lol.

Hey d...honest positive criticism is fine. But to downright blast someone for the sake of being honest is NOT the best way to handle this.

I'm guessing you're probably not as old as I am. So I give you the benefit of the doubt. You haven't been on this earth as long as I have, and your experiences have really not backfired on you like it has with some of us who've gone through this "sitch", as you call it.

I can assure you it's NOT in anyone's benefit to be harsh to the intended individual when confronted with this awkward situation. You can succeed in accomplishing the intended outcome without resorting to a mean-spirited parting of ways. Which, in turn could create a potentially "hazardous" outcome, if it's done with disrespect and ill-intent. Like pbloxam says, there's no reason to insult.

Every action causes an opposite and equal reaction. So you may wanna be a bit on the "civil" side here. And this CAN be accomplished without sacrificing honesty.

I do believe that you and I are not too far from agreeing with each other, diosdude. Just a slight difference of opinion. So there's really not much more I can say about this.

Good Luck
 
I think the whole conversation about how dios proposed kicking out a band mate is maybe kinda theoretical in nature anyway. I highly doubt he would treat someone like that to their face unless he just truly didn't like them as a person. When it comes down to it I think he'd show him more respect than just telling him he sucks and to get out. Nobody is that ignorant in real life without consequences and repercussions.
 
I think the whole conversation about how dios proposed kicking out a band mate is maybe kinda theoretical in nature anyway. I highly doubt he would treat someone like that to their face unless he just truly didn't like them as a person. When it comes down to it I think he'd show him more respect than just telling him he sucks and to get out. Nobody is that ignorant in real life without consequences and repercussions.

I had to edit my original post so you guys would chill out, again, IT'S A JOKE, PEOPLE, JUST RELAX.

Hey d...honest positive criticism is fine. But to downright blast someone for the sake of being honest is NOT the best way to handle this.

I'm guessing you're probably not as old as I am. So I give you the benefit of the doubt.

I'm 38 years old, been in about a dozen all-original bands and about 4 or 5 cover bands so i'll give YOU the benefit of the doubt because you're probably not as good a judge of character or experience as you might think you are. Seriously, your condescending tone in your post is personally offensive. You may be 76 years old and have jammed with Jan and Dean, George Thoroughgood, Carole King and toured as Neil Peart's drum tech, but don't assume i just fell off the turnip truck. I've tried the nice guy approach on a few occasions, for example when our crack-head rhythm guitarist was recording our album with us and he kept f#@%ing up all of the riffs. I suggested to the studio engineer/ studio owner, "Hey man, let's just let Mike (my lead guitarist) do Tony's tracks". I got talked out of it because "well, he's part of the band and if he's helping to pay for the album don't you think if he's he deserves to be on the album?" My initial thought was, "no, he's going to srew up the track". Long story short, the album got ruined because of the guy, he didn't pay a cent, we kicked him out a few weeks later and i got "chump" stamped on my forehead. So again, how exactly did being the nice guy in this SITCH end up being the right thing to do???
 
I had to edit my original post so you guys would chill out, again, IT'S A JOKE, PEOPLE, JUST RELAX.



I'm 38 years old, been in about a dozen all-original bands and about 4 or 5 cover bands so i'll give YOU the benefit of the doubt because you're probably not as good a judge of character or experience as you might think you are. Seriously, your condescending tone in your post is personally offensive. You may be 76 years old and have jammed with Jan and Dean, George Thoroughgood, Carole King and toured as Neil Peart's drum tech, but don't assume i just fell off the turnip truck. I've tried the nice guy approach on a few occasions, for example when our crack-head rhythm guitarist was recording our album with us and he kept f#@%ing up all of the riffs. I suggested to the studio engineer/ studio owner, "Hey man, let's just let Mike (my lead guitarist) do Tony's tracks". I got talked out of it because "well, he's part of the band and if he's helping to pay for the album don't you think if he's he deserves to be on the album?" My initial thought was, "no, he's going to srew up the track". Long story short, the album got ruined because of the guy, he didn't pay a cent, we kicked him out a few weeks later and i got "chump" stamped on my forehead. So again, how exactly did being the nice guy in this SITCH end up being the right thing to do???


You lost me at "condescending" and "personally offensive".

And I'M not a good judge of character?


In short...never mind.
 
Oh, it's a joke.


ta hee


See, just when you think it's a "how to" thread and you try to help, thinking it's a serious question, somebody throws you a "curve ball" and reveals that's it's all "in jest".

That the original question of the thread, by matthew, was NOT him needing any suggestions about how best to kick someone out of a band after all.

Hmm...the joke's on me then. My bad.

Sorry matthew. I took it as an actual serious question. I apologize for the confusion.

I fell for that 100%.

Dang, you guys are good!
 
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