Your parents' attitude towards your drumming

Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Wow Ian interesting story. Anyone who can talk about their mother and use the term "knocked her up with me" has both my respect and sympathy lol.

Well, it was the end of the 60's in San Francisco. LOL....

Which is why I always have a soft spot for Grace Slick and the Jefferson Airplane. But for some odd reason, not for the Grateful Dead. haha.
 
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

WOW, I think many of us could write a book on our own experience/history with this one, and I know for me, this stirs the old emotional pot a bit. None the less, looking back, I have to say to myself, just be glad you were blessed with the talent
you were given. Looking back my 82yo mom says she wishes she would have gotten me drums sooner in my life, real drums. It wasn’t till I got my first ‘real’ job that a drummer friend took me and my tax return to get me my first kit.
From a family of 6, all but 2 played several instruments, and mom even taught piano at the house. So when I failed at learning that, It was back outside to play, no Xbox in those days. Needless to say, any drumming ability went unnoticed through the years
that my ‘not so good’ behavior became the only thing noticed. But three months after getting drums, I became the drummer for my friends band, and he moved to vocals, as I put all those ‘air drumming’ lessons into reality. Maybe the lessons I had to learn in life at that time took precedence to becoming a drummer..? IDK

DRUMeatDRUM, I can relate!
 
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

I recently started playing about 3 years ago but hey, in my mid 40s, I'm still lucky have my folks aruond and kicking. And they actually do ask me all the time how the drumming is going. But as a lad, I had a brother played guitar and smoked weed in the 70s, but AM radio was on constantly. Listen to music 24/7. I can name year and month of any top 40 hit. Weird.

Present, my fiancee is a total talent. Best singer I have ever known. Maybe Ella was better.
 
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Heres my story...

My stepfather hated my drumming because I was a better drummer than he has ever been, and of course, my mother just thought it was a whole bunch of banging...until they saw me play at one of my shows. Now my mother is trying to push me to become a better drummer, and my stepfather is long gone(divorce), So, I guess moral of the story:It all works out in the end! lol
 
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

My parents weren't exactly musical but they were arty and they encouraged us to follow any arty inclination. My sisters and I are all in our 60s now. One is a poet and plays clarinet. The other paints and and sings in a choir. I took to dance which my mother always supported, she came to everything I ever appeared in on stage right up to the end of her life.

All of which - looking back - is quite unusual I think for a fairly poor, working class, post-war family.
 
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

My family is very musical. Almost everybody learned to play an instrument and/or sing growing up.

They love the fact that I have such an exciting "hobby" to compliment my engineering degree and yearly salary. My parents come to all the gigs they can and they bring friends and dance. Good times.

In my ideal world where I would be drumming full time, they would not support that decision. They think that music can't pay the bills and would ruin my family life. That's what they told me in high school and in college when I was planning a music career. Here I am now, again, thinking about music. I wonder what they'll say now.. If I ever took the plunge, I think they would be supportive because they feel obligated as parents, but they'll fight tooth and nail until that happens.
 
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

The only ones in my family who played a musical instrument were me and two of my cousins who played piano and guitar.An aunt I had ,who was the mother of my cousin that played piano, encouraged me to play drums,and actually bought me my first Rascals album.

I was never encouraged to play drums by my parents,in fact my dad said that drums weren't a musical instrument.That didn't deter me,and it also meant that I would have to work to pay for everything.

It also meant limited practice time,which is why I was never as good as I could have been.But....better something than nothing.

Steve B
 
There are some great and interesting stories here.

To say my parents were supportive would be an understatement. Both have passed away but their influence will remain with me forever.

My Dad was a drummer who played in local big bands in the 40's & 50's and began playing in small wedding bands thereafter until the family / work life became to demanding in time and then he packed all his stuff away.

In 1976 he set up his drums for me at my asking (he was more excited than I was to do so) and after about 2 weeks of noodling, he signed me up for private lessons with a teacher up the street.

Throughout his life he absolutely loved that I was more than passionate about music and drumming and taught me more about jazz history than any other source. I still have a few pieces of his set - in fact, I just had his snare drum refurbished to a very played condition. His hi hat cymbals and bass drum remain as they were when he gave them to me in 1976. They are now tucked away.

My mom was more than supportive by making sure I was always allowed to practice in the house when I was home after school and on weekends without issues. This was a huge contribution to my production.

My Dad's brother played sax in the army during Korea and was on the road a while with some big bands afterwards. He packed it all away back in the around 1959 and didn't open his case until around 1979 when he decided he wanted to get a pickup jazz band which included me being their drummer. My Aunt (his wife) sang.

My parents didn't have much money so other than the gear my Dad gave me, I didn't get much help other than sticks, brushes, the occasional head and most importantly the money for my lessons. Any gear that came after that I had to earn the money delivering newspapers, mowing, shoveling, sweeping neighbor's garages, etc. I was so glad when I turned 16 to work my $3.05/per hour job which I saved enough money to buy good gear.

I also have/had other family members who played various instruments and sang as well (piano, drums, violin, vocalists, etc…)

My folks were the best and I have nothing but great memories which I cherish.

Sorry this is probably more than you wanted/needed to know or asked for.

Here's some cool old pics of my Dad and other family members playing....

The big band with a cousin playing guitar (sitting next to my Dad) and uncle playing sax (3rd one in from left).
View attachment 54417

The Ludwig's I still have (sans the two toms) with my cousin.
View attachment 54416

A jam session he played in Germany.
View attachment 54418
 
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My parents were very supportive about my drumming (and my guitar playing, piano lessons and my marching band). I sort of wish they'd forced me to be more structured about drumming when I started out, but on the other hand I'm not sure I would have stuck with it if it was "forced" on me.

When I first got my "real" kit, it was set up in the hallway outside my parents' and sister's bedrooms, and only a few meters away from my grandparents' part of the house. I have absolutely no idea how they possibly managed to live with me slamming my kit all day up there. My parents "had to" be supportive, I guess, but I can't even remember my sister ever complaining.

I'm the only musician in my family. There are a couple of family members (dad and a couple of uncles) who can strum a guitar, and my sister took piano lessons for a couple of years, but never showed any real interest or stuck with it. I have no idea where my interest in music came from, or what made me want to play drums.
 
Great family story dmacc!

My folks supported my drumming although there were not any musicians in my family both my parents loved listening to music. My dad loved jazz and mom loved classical and anything Tom Jones! Strangely, it was my step dad who bought me my first set of drums. What is strange about it is he loathed musicians saying they were all hippie pot smoking flakes. He always went on and on how nothing good would come out of me being a musician....but he bought me the kit anyway and tolerated me "playing" in my room to records for hours on end. He turned out to be a mean SOB and my mom divorced him but I at least have to thank him for my first set of drums!
 
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Mum was an author and a big fan of the arts generally, including music. Still, in hindsight I think she wished I was focused more on writing than drumming. Trouble is, our talents and preferences are not always in the same sphere.

Dad bought me a kit after a long period of intense lobbying and kindly tolerated my practising, but he disliked my music and drumming and his feedback tended to be "Do you call that noise music?".

So I'm the only "musician" in the family ;-) My sister dabbled in piano and clarinet but ended up just dating jazz musicians. That was great for me because she left a piano and clarinet in the home for me to play around with, and I got to see some fabulous jazz gigs.
 
Great story dmacc. Exactly what I was looking for. Among other things, it kind of defines the best way a parent can support their kids. Heck you were probably a dream come true to your parents, nothing bonds a family like music can. I didn't experience that coming up, and it really warms my heart to hear how good it can be.
BTW your Dad and his brother...you can really see the family resemblance, your family has good genes. I envy you man.

Grea, nothing like the old mans comments to brighten your day, right? Lobbying. Lol. You pick the best words.

So far the general consensus I'm getting here is that more responders were supported than not.

Opentune, re: the soothing thing... It's a parental safety thing, you know exactly where your kid is, and you know that they're safe and happy.
 
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As far as my parents were concerned, my mother was against my getting a kit whilst my father was all for it. Oddly enough, she got me my first set, when I was 15. It was a no-name children's kit that her friend was throwing out. It lasted roughly 3 months before my father allowed me to look for a used kit online. So I guess you could say in the end both my parents were all for it.
As for musicians in the family, my great uncle is a bassist and vocalist, and another great uncle is a drummer. Both of these men are in their 50s to 60s, and have been musicians their entire life.
But other than those two, my brother and I are the only other musicians in the family.

Cheers! :)
 
I feel very lucky having read some of the non-supportive experiences here.

My parents have been (and continue to be) incredibly supportive of my music. Some of it might come from an obligation of sorts.

My family are all musical to lesser or greater degrees. All of my grandparents sing (and my grandfather that passed away a year ago was a very good singer indeed) and most play other instruments. My Mother was a cellist and pianist, my Dad was a trombonist and guitarist as well as singing. Neither play much any more but it's still there. Then my brother came along in 1986 and a couple of years later was discovered to be severely autistic. On the advice of a psychologist, they switched him on to the piano and he was discovered to have a vivacious talent - to say he was ten years ahead of his age on the instrument would be understating it. He also took up the French horn and was found to have a similar talent.

So naturally, I took up the piano for a few years and I sang. I gave up the piano but still sang in choirs and had a lot of serious singing lessons. Then when I got to fourteen out of nowhere I decided that I wanted to play the drums. Call it on a whim, really. A few weeks later, my parents had found me a good local teacher and started paying for lessons. Then I bought my own kit and really got the bug. They put up with the noise but it was no noisier than my brother playing the French horn and I suppose there was an egalitarian notion that if he could make noise, I could likewise make noise. They also bought me an electronic kit (a hint?!) a couple of years later that I still have - although it's not used hugely at the moment.

I cannot thank them enough. They still put up with noise in the house (I had to move back in with them through a variety of circumstances) but I make a point of only playing when they're not in. I think it's only fair!
 
Dad was gigging drummer for many years, so my drumming was actively encouraged.

Just wish I paid a hell of a lot more attention to what he was saying when I was younger......I have no doubt I'd be better for it today if I did.
 
My parents bought me drums and put up with me bashing away until I learned to play them, so I have to say they were supportive. One of my grandmothers could play piano, but other than that, I am the first musician in my family that I know of. My nineteen-year-old son plays bass and some keyboards. One of my two brothers has sung in a couple of local musicals.

Peace and goodwill.
 
My parents were supportive and put up with all the noise that came with it for many years. While in High School we would have jams in the back yard on almost a weekly basis. Really annoyed the neighbors. LOL I played until I entered the military and then took the next 40 years off. Just now have begun to revisit the drums and music. Could have something to do with the wife being a musician too.
 
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