Not ready to discuss this with family ;)

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
As some of you know, it's been a semi-rough last ten months for me. When dad passed away from cancer last October, many of you sent condolences, and I totally appreciated that - proving even more so that drummers are different from other instrumentalists, for caring about a fellow drummer. Well, here we are, ten months later, still moving forward, but still sorta dealing with this hole.

In my Hawaiian family (and maybe alot of other families) we have a celebration at the one-year anniversary of dad's passing with a huge get-together, which we're doing in October on the islands. After that my mom said she'll begin to go through the house and start moving dad's things out by re-distribution to other family members - so I guess that's when her grieving ends and she begins to move forward. That'll be hard, I know.

In the interim, I honored both mom and dad by getting back to the old Slingerland drums that they started me on some 40 years ago now (it's seem unreal that that's how long ago that was!). And mom thought that was cool. But something has begun to change in me these last few months. I've spent all my life doing things to get away from my crazy family, and lately all I've wanted to do was throw barbecues and invite them all over all the time. I guess I'm beginning to embrace my Hawaiian-ness? The negative side of me is saying "well if you can't beat 'em, join 'em", but the positive side is telling me there's no shame in discovering that I actually love my family, and the fact that we're based in Hawaii is even cooler - and maybe a year ago when I said I'm going on vacation it was always somewhere where my family wasn't. Now, I don't mind going to Hawaii. It actually feels like home.

But I may be embracing even more family than I'm willing to admit. When mom thought the Slingerland's were cool, the thing I didn't know is how much she'd lit up when she found out I had a ukulele in my house. Then she told me she actually has a vintage pro ukulele, and was quite a player when she was younger (before she had her kids). Unknown to me was that both she and dad played, and my dad even played mandolin (it bugs me when I find out that my dad was pretty cool after he dies!). Anyway, it surprised me that she knew so much about playing ukulele, I'm sort of at a loss. I had thought both really weren't that musical and that they were just tolerating my drumming.

To admit my closeness with family, I've invested in a pro ukulele to be able to sit around and play with mom (and the rest of the family). I know a few chords, but basically a remedial player, but to see mom light up about the subject is worth it. It's a deeper connection because it's what they did, and I want to know more about it. And I've been on YouTube looking at these incredible ukulele players - like any instrument, it's being pushed beyond its island boundaries and like some drumming, it's downright scary what people are doing. I've been searching for melodic instruments for my musical expression outside of drumming and I think I've found it. I tried guitar, piano you have to take in college, I have no desire to play a horn or a violin, but the unassuming ukulele seems to be it. Seems crazy.

And I thought a friend of mine was crazy spending $700 on an acoustic guitar made by Taylor that he couldn't play (which is really cheap, I guess). Well, I just spent $1500 on this ukulele. Why did I complain about spending $450 on a used Supraphonic again?

So I'm still playing drums, but I've never felt connected to another instrument until now. I'm not ready to tell my family why I'm doing this, but I figured I could tell you folks. Perhaps the why will become apparent as I get better at this. But this is probably my physical embodiment of saying I love my family.

Unless they drive me crazy.
 
Hey Bo, not really sure if you're looking for replies or input, or just that you wanted to say what you have said...I lost my Dad 20 years ago this year, still miss him very much; in some ways more now than in the first year or so. As I've 'aged' I find I appreciate what he did for me and my Mother more and more.
Glad you've 'found' the ukele bro, practice long ahd hard and have some fun with it!!
take care, J
 
That is very cool Bo. I wasn't on DW 10 months ago so I would like to say I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my father in '90.
And with both of you parents playing ukulele. ..it almost seems as if it is a way of holding your mom and dad closer to your heart and with an instrument that is so expressive. Enjoy your new journey.

Steve
 
That is very cool Bo. I wasn't on DW 10 months ago so I would like to say I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my father in '90.
And with both of you parents playing ukulele. ..it almost seems as if it is a way of holding your mom and dad closer to your heart and with an instrument that is so expressive. Enjoy your new journey.

^^^ Everything I wanted to say, but more beautifully expressed.
 
Great account and reinforcement of how music can keep you eternally connected to your folks and heritage.
 
I lost one of my three sisters 5 years ago and had a similar train of thought. I'm in Florida. She was in Missouri. One sister in Maryland and the other in North Carolina.
We all just did our own things and spoke on birthdays and holidays etc., but in my mind not very close. When my sister died all of this changed. More phone calls, more time spent together. I have no problem now telling people how I feel and telling my siblings as well. As for the Uke, well that's special to you and will be special to your family in due time. For a small guy you have the biggest heart on this forum with regard to family. Nothing but props for that. And if they, at times, didn't drive you crazy, you wouldn't be who you are. Peace.
 
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I think it was Mark Twain who said something to the effect of how amazing it was that his parents got smarter as he got older. I think this is what you are experiencing. But whatever the reason it sounds like a wonderful place to be.
 
What a nice post. Warms my heart Bo. Good for you man. Very mature outlook on things. Were you born in Hawaii?
 
What a nice post. Warms my heart Bo. Good for you man. Very mature outlook on things. Were you born in Hawaii?

Thanks Mary - I should've just quoted Mark Twain! Definitely alot shorter than what I wrote!

And Larry - no, I was actually born in California. But the family (which is quite large) has traveled back and forth all through the years. My mom was one of nine kids, and my dad was one of three. But on the islands it's true: everybody is your cousin, auntie or uncle, grandparent, so I grew up with this huge extended family. When we threw the first big party at my house for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary, the guest list topped out at 300 or so, and there wasn't anyone there that I'd never seen before.

Now that I think about it, being my dad's son, I think he'd already done what I'm doing. In the 50s, he left to join the army, ended up in Germany. In fact, years ago he told me he didn't want to be a Marine because they always ended up on Guam or some other Pacific Island - which he was trying to get away from too. He settled in Los Angeles after his European stint and brought mom over, and all of their kids were born here. I recall I'd always joked when someone asked where I was from, I'd say "Hawaii via Motown" because I wanted to be a funky soul brother on the drums ever since I was a kid - so apparently this "get away from the family" bit has been going on all my life. And I think in a way, dad did that too - but he never told me if he made a conscious effort to re-connect, he probably did.
 
I always wanted to get away from my family too, I can relate for sure. Not that they're bad people, they're not. I just wanted to do my own thing. Looking back it was probably a judgement thing. What they didn't know wouldn't upset them. I have never been mainstream at all, more alternative, and that was never agreed with by anyone in my family. I can't change who I am.
 
That's a great story. Thanks. I've found that it's ok to love my crazy family. I don't agree with them on many things but when we're together I actually enjoy it now. You can disgaree with them in quiet but still be respectful of your family and who they are. I find that being forgiving and accepting gives me peace and power at the same time. Good for you Bo.
 
Nice story, Bo. You come across as a real natural when you drum and sing so it makes sense that some of it is genetic. Must be lovely for music to be a point of family connection. For me, music was a gulf over which my family could only partially cross and, some of them, not at all.

As for ukes, earlier this year the band played "unplugged" at a ukelele night http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUTkrfP0nXY but it should be said that a fair few of the earlier performances were hard to sit through. The uke is a double edged sword :)

Interested in this comment of yours, Bo.

"And I've been on YouTube looking at these incredible ukulele players - like any instrument, it's being pushed beyond its island boundaries and like some drumming, it's downright scary what people are doing".

Can you recommend any links?
 
Nice story, Bo. You come across as a real natural when you drum and sing so it makes sense that some of it is genetic. Must be lovely for music to be a point of family connection. For me, music was a gulf over which my family could only partially cross and, some of them, not at all.

As for ukes, earlier this year the band played "unplugged" at a ukelele night http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUTkrfP0nXY but it should be said that a fair few of the earlier performances were hard to sit through. The uke is a double edged sword :)

Interested in this comment of yours, Bo.

"And I've been on YouTube looking at these incredible ukulele players - like any instrument, it's being pushed beyond its island boundaries and like some drumming, it's downright scary what people are doing".

Can you recommend any links?

Thanks, I'd like to think my talent just came from nowhere though ;)

Regarding links, there's one guy with a ton of videos on YouTube that's really pushing the boundaries, and that's Jake Shimabukuro - he even does a solo rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody - and is justly the big ukulele thing right now. Another artist, being touted by people like session man Tom Scott is Brittni Patvia (?), although a really good player, not really pushing it like Jake. Jake is kinda' like Jojo who is pushing the envelope on what you can do with the instrument, I'd check him out. Another older player I really is Kimo Hussey (he's has videos too) and he, along with Lyle Ritz, are kings of jazz ukulele.

My whole life I just heard these traditional Hawaiian songs on ukulele which I guess was a turn-off in my younger days, but I plan on using it to play Beatles, Hendrix, my usual rock covers....and granted others have done it already, but at least I know that it can be done (and not be laughed at:).

I'm excited as I get to pick-up the uke' tomorrow at the FedEx office. It should blow the doors off of that uke I have at home now!
 
Wow, just listened to Jake Shimabukuro - I see what you mean. This is stunning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puSkP3uym5k

Yeah, whack it through a fuzz box and play Hendrix licks :) Or maybe an octave splitter and try to sound like a sitar :))

Oddly enough, I just picked up one of those Boss pedal board thingy's (an ME70) that has three pedals and an expression pedal - so I have access to all of those effects (including a looper). Sort of an idiotic impulse buy since I don't handle the instrument well enough at this point, but I know I'll push it one day and give it a shot!

I think, like alot of people around the world think, this Jake guy is pushing the ukulele envelope totally out of shape.
 
Thanks Mary - I should've just quoted Mark Twain! Definitely alot shorter than what I wrote!

And Larry - no, I was actually born in California. But the family (which is quite large) has traveled back and forth all through the years. My mom was one of nine kids, and my dad was one of three. But on the islands it's true: everybody is your cousin, auntie or uncle, grandparent, so I grew up with this huge extended family. When we threw the first big party at my house for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary, the guest list topped out at 300 or so, and there wasn't anyone there that I'd never seen before.

Now that I think about it, being my dad's son, I think he'd already done what I'm doing. In the 50s, he left to join the army, ended up in Germany. In fact, years ago he told me he didn't want to be a Marine because they always ended up on Guam or some other Pacific Island - which he was trying to get away from too. He settled in Los Angeles after his European stint and brought mom over, and all of their kids were born here. I recall I'd always joked when someone asked where I was from, I'd say "Hawaii via Motown" because I wanted to be a funky soul brother on the drums ever since I was a kid - so apparently this "get away from the family" bit has been going on all my life. And I think in a way, dad did that too - but he never told me if he made a conscious effort to re-connect, he probably did.

We have shockingly similar upbringings except my dad was a haole serviceman who snagged my mom from the islands and landed in long Beach. I too was subjected to traditional and gospel type uke playing from an early age. It wasn't until I was about 30 that I was able to get over my metal head mentality and appreciate what the uke has to offer. My uncle was a slack key musician on the island and turned me on to the Ka'au Crater Brothers. They're pretty old school but were innovators in their time. Check out their song " On Fire " ( not the North Shore On Fire ) just On Fire. Enjoy the new uke. I jumped in deep at the time as well. But mine only cost 600.00........It is a 6 string though!

Btw, thanks to whoever linked the IZ song. Makes me well up everytime i hear it.
 
We have shockingly similar upbringings except my dad was a haole serviceman who snagged my mom from the islands and landed in long Beach. I too was subjected to traditional and gospel type uke playing from an early age. It wasn't until I was about 30 that I was able to get over my metal head mentality and appreciate what the uke has to offer. My uncle was a slack key musician on the island and turned me on to the Ka'au Crater Brothers. They're pretty old school but were innovators in their time. Check out their song " On Fire " ( not the North Shore On Fire ) just On Fire. Enjoy the new uke. I jumped in deep at the time as well. But mine only cost 600.00........It is a 6 string though!

Btw, thanks to whoever linked the IZ song. Makes me well up everytime i hear it.

I'll bet we're related somehow ;)
 
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