I've been playing off and on for 40 years. I've got the Gig for every band I ever auditioned for with one exception. Yet I always feel inferior to the other members of the group. Right now we have a guitar, bass, keys, singer, and probably just added a sax. Some of them have toured, played bigger venues than me. When they all start talking about what key a certain song is in, or transposing etc I feel like much less of a musician.
Now some of this, probably a big part is my own crap. I don't have tremendous self esteem. and some of it is I don't feel I have the chops they have. I had a particularly bad practice two weeks ago where I had gone 3 nights without sleep and I just sucked. I felt like I had 2 right arms ( I'm a lefty ) and felt so sluggish. That didn't help my state of mind.
And some of it is, I haven't really read a chart since high school, 30 years ago. So I plan on either buying a course or taking lessons again.
I also have an issue where I hadn't played in 5 years because of two back surgeries in one year. So I was not only rusty, but I'm working through pain and stamina issues. For that besides practicing the only fix I can think of is to hit the gym, which I will do.
I talked to the founder of the group and he told me he is fine with me. He said just keep practicing and working. I told him I felt inferior to the others. He said working with better musicians is the best way to get better. When I see him and another member of the group talking off by themselves, I think they are talking about me. And to set the record straight all of the others members are great guys. That's one of the best parts of the band. We are all on a friendly basis with one exception. He's not unfriendly he's just plays everything close to the vest and is pretty private. He also has the most experience touring etc. He's the one I feel is most critical of my playing.
I know this may all sound silly, but I couldn't really think of a better place to post such a question than with a group of my peers. It's embarrassing because this is coming from a 49 year old, not someone facing his first gig. So anyone else ever feel like this? How do you overcome it besides therapy I need to get past this because it takes all of the joy out of playing. Thanks, Spiney
Now some of this, probably a big part is my own crap. I don't have tremendous self esteem. and some of it is I don't feel I have the chops they have. I had a particularly bad practice two weeks ago where I had gone 3 nights without sleep and I just sucked. I felt like I had 2 right arms ( I'm a lefty ) and felt so sluggish. That didn't help my state of mind.
And some of it is, I haven't really read a chart since high school, 30 years ago. So I plan on either buying a course or taking lessons again.
I also have an issue where I hadn't played in 5 years because of two back surgeries in one year. So I was not only rusty, but I'm working through pain and stamina issues. For that besides practicing the only fix I can think of is to hit the gym, which I will do.
I talked to the founder of the group and he told me he is fine with me. He said just keep practicing and working. I told him I felt inferior to the others. He said working with better musicians is the best way to get better. When I see him and another member of the group talking off by themselves, I think they are talking about me. And to set the record straight all of the others members are great guys. That's one of the best parts of the band. We are all on a friendly basis with one exception. He's not unfriendly he's just plays everything close to the vest and is pretty private. He also has the most experience touring etc. He's the one I feel is most critical of my playing.
I know this may all sound silly, but I couldn't really think of a better place to post such a question than with a group of my peers. It's embarrassing because this is coming from a 49 year old, not someone facing his first gig. So anyone else ever feel like this? How do you overcome it besides therapy I need to get past this because it takes all of the joy out of playing. Thanks, Spiney