Your parents' attitude towards your drumming

I have a lot of musicians in my family. My parents always supported any interest in music. My dad was a musician his whole life. I will always be too.

My parents bought me my initial equipment, but never anything beyond that. The rest was all up to me. They never got me any lessons, and I guess I never asked for any. They were indifferent to whatever music I played, and they didn't care what instrument I played either. They were just happy to see me playing any instrument. My dad was not a big fan of the drums and would have probably preferred seeing me excel as a guitar player to be honest.
 
Last edited:
I'd like to poll everyone here as to the attitude, either for or against, of your parents, in regards to your drumming. I'd also like to know if you come from a long, or short, line of musicians, or not. Obviously this applies to drummers who started out while still under the care of their parents, but feel free to chime in if you started later in life.

My parents got me my first MIJ kit in 1968 when I was 10, so that implies a "for". The previous year I got bongos, but they never really satisfied me. I had restless leg syndrome, I was forever bouncing my right leg. I needed a bass drum. But as I never lost interest playing drums, in the years to follow, my Father definitely regretted helping me get started. I heard him with my own ears express those exact sentiments when I was an adult. He didn't know how huge it would become in my life in 1968, and felt he "lost" me after I got involved with drums. Lol. I would have played regardless, I just would have got my first kit at a later time. But there was no denying the fact that it was inside me and needed to come out. (a nod to a line in John Lee Hooker's "Boogie Chillun")

What I don't understand is...no one in the previous generations of my family, was musical at all, AFAIK. So I don't know where it came from. I did have an older cousin who had, and still owns, a 60's Ludwig black oyster pearl "Ringo" set, but I discovered drums on my own before that. He just helped fuel the fire that was already established.

So, in regards to your parent's attitude... was your drumming encouraged, discouraged, or treated indifferently? Are you the first generation of musicians in your family?

I'm going to assume that since they've financed my little habit when I was 5 maybe they were "for". But I have this sneaking suspicion they didn't expect me to take it as far as I did. Like many parents, they probably thought it was cool that their son wanted to do something, and I had two uncles who played music for the US Army and they played in alot of different places because of it. One had his own jazz combo, and supplied our house with alot of jazz records to listen to. So I think I'm part of the second generation of musicians in my family, and the encouragement was good.

When I was 12 mom would drive me weekly to my lessons, and they were quick to allow me money to buy sticks and a head if I needed it. In fact, it was my dad who took me shopping for my first cymbal bag ($78 back in 1979! Alot of money to a kid) when he saw I had nothing to carry them in when he drove me out for my first gigs - so he knew the cymbals were instruments to be protected. Later I discovered that he was an avid ukulele and mandolin player when he was a kid, but he stopped all of that when he decided to raise a family.

I guess over the years they were very supportive. They let me re-locate to a high school that had an actual marching band, and didn't mind when I spent my summers on the road with a drum and bugle corps, and understood my willingness to study music in college and helped pay for that too. When I started working for the Mouse they were very proud and I think they enjoyed the bragging rights.

Through all of this, I recall dad telling me on the way home from a gig when I was 11, "Make sure you get the trash out in the morning and mow the lawn when you get a chance". My parents were cool.
 
Do fish actually drink the water they breathe?

Yes, some actually do. The rest absorb it. It's actually interesting stuff, because it's one of the big ways salt-water and fresh-water fishes tend to differ. In general, freshwater fish absorb water through their gills and skin and rarely if ever "drink" water intentionally. Saltwater or ocean fish will usually actively "drink" water, processing out the salt. Even more interesting, is that there are fish who can live in both salt and fresh water; my understanding is that they alter their behavior when in salt water and drink only then.

I had a really cool marine biology teacher in school, very interesting guy and I remember a lot of what he had to say.
 
Cool stuff dog. You would think it would be opposite, the freshwater fish would be the drinkers. I think I'll swallow air, in homage to the salt water fishies.

Do fish burp? What would happen if you put a salt water fish in a vat of club soda?
 
Nothing but support.

In my family 3 out of 5 members make - and have always made - a living off of music (2 of them as musicians, 1 is a promoter/agent).
The remaining 2 members (me & my younger brother) also play music, but we have other professions for paying the bills and only do music on the side. We've both played with many different bands and recorded tho, but nothing to really make a living with.

And also my grandma was a professional opera singer till the day she retired.
So I've pretty much grown up with music really being a normal, everyday thing. Lots of different instruments at the house. Drums was something I picked up because it just felt right, I guess. I've also played the bass and percussions in bands - actually I've probably done more gigs with those instruments than with the drums.

But my mom would have encouraged me to be happy in whatever hobby I would have chosen. I played football for years before even thinking about the drums and she was super-supportive with that too.

Very interesting that stuff about the fish also, I have to say!
 
my mum let me have my drum kit in the front room. she liked piano, and had a ton of old vinyl, mainly orchestral/piano arrangements. sibelius, debussy, liszt, chopin etc. subsequently i now have a ton of old vinyl. and a drum kit in the front room.
 
I would say my parents were supportive, especially my mom. She played piano and took up folk guitar, which my dad and uncle both played. She tried to teach me piano when I was around 6 and ended up sending me to lessons. But I wanted to play guitar and my uncle showed me my first chords so I commandeered my dads guitar. I'd also set up a sort of drum set in the back yard (we had a section fenced off for drying laundry and the dog and I had pretty much free run out there) out of old 5 gal paint buckets I snagged from a construction site down the street. Even to the point of making up some sort of bass pedal out of scrap wood. By 12 or so, I was playing in bands using borrowed equipment and they got me a department store guitar and my dad rebuilt some old amp for me to use. We were pretty poor. Fairly often the band would rehearse in our garage and they tolerated it. Along with tolerating me banging on the drum kit that was left there for "rehearsals" all the time. By 13 they got me some used Silvertone stuff from a pawn shop. All this time my mom was hauling our band to gigs which were pretty much every weekend at some elementary school (we didn't have middle schools in that little town) or city rec center. Looking back, they put up with a lot.
When I was out of school and working at a music store, I sensed my dad was kind of disappointed. And when I gave that up to play full time, it was a bit more obvious. But he never came right out and said anything other than I could do better doing XYZ. And my mom was behind me all the way. At the point I was playing full time, she lived close by and I would go over to her place to work out arrangements on her piano. I have her 2nd piano (she traded the old spinet she got when she moved out on her own for a small grand when she retired) and the Martin guitar she did odd jobs to save up for when she wanted to learn to play folk music with the family.
 
Back
Top