The secret is to learn by dealing with the occasionally-dropped stick. It's frustrating, but it's also one excellent way to learn because you will begin to feel what it takes to hold the sticks at that fine line between hanging on and dropping it. After a while, it'll be completely automatic, and you won't have to think about it. Your playing will improve quite noticeably, and everything will feel easier.
Jim Chapin explains it really well: imagine that you're holding a very young (fledgling) bird. If you were holding one, then you wouldn't want to grip it too tightly or else it would be hurt, but you also don't want to hold it too loosely or else it'll fly away. So, you hold it as loose as possible while still not letting it fly away. So, it's literally a gentle grip and this allows the stick to do most of the work. When you're doing it right, it feels like magic: you make the motion, and the stick does it
for you.
Jim also talks about avoiding the "iron thumb". There's a tendency for all of us to grip too tightly with the thumb, but that tightens up way too much of the forearm which makes it more difficult to play because the hands are not relaxed.
Actually, check out these videos:
http://www.vicfirth.com/education/drumset/domfamularo.php
http://www.drummerworld.com/drummers/Jim_Chapin.html
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=jim+chapin&aq=f&sourceid=Mozilla-search (YouTube search results for "jim chapin")
The goal is actually simple: to have all of your drumming be as effortless as possible. That's why the greatest drummers make it look easy; it is because when you're doing it right, it
is easy.
Besides, it will also allow you to continue drumming until you're a very old man (just like Jim Chapin). I mean, it's your choice: you can continue playing the way you're playing today only to wear out and end up in pain at the same age as most professional athletes (35 to 45 years old), or you can work on your technique now so that you basically last forever.
