Originally Posted by rogue_drummer
we can't play music together now because what started off as several ppl just "getting together for fun" turned into a business all of a sudden and the material even had to be nailed perfectly - even in rehearsals. When there was a probelm musically it wasn't discussed, no guidance was given, etc.
This is usually the crux of the matter: people who don't know what they want are rarely going to be satisfied. I have lost count of the number of bands I've been in where what started as a really fun energetic rock band soon became humourless shoegazing indie wank or where the thing they liked so much about my playing in the first place was the thing that got me canned 18 months later: there was one guy who was very keen to have a really loose Tom Waits/Jug band/earthy blues feel when I auditioned for the band and I was more than happy to play with that kind of feel; by the time we parted company we had been playing and recording the same half dozen tunes over and over for about 6 months with an obsessive attention to detail in an attempt to get them absolutely perfect, though they never really changed much from the first time we played them.
I have found the best way to minimise problems is to learn as much as possible about drums, sheet music, guitars, pianos, amps, microphones, mixing desks, studios, producers, promoters . . . whatever. If you have a good idea about what you want and what you like and can comfortably express that then that's a good place to start. It isn't always easy to spot a wrong'un in a band situation right from the word go as people tend to be on their best behaviour when meeting band mates for the first time; but deep down we have all probably known the point where things turned bad or boring yet for some reason allowed it to struggle on unchecked for months before inevitably falling apart.
If this realisation comes before it's too late then I say for your own sake talk about it quickly. If the others are grown up enough then may be it can be worked out. If not, then jump back on the horse ASAP and start again - unless there's money involved . . . but it sounds like you're not talking about that kind of band. I know in some parts of the world it's hard to find anyone to play with and beggars can't be choosers etc but music really should be fun. If I'm not having fun and I'm not getting paid then there's no point at all.
I feel for you and I have often been tempted to stick with a crappy band for fear of being alone in the wilderness - but every second spent trapped in band like that is time that could be spent with someone out there who is right for you: go get 'em.
Good luck and HAVE FUN.