Mallaebility, Amiability, subservience, group dynamics and leadership
I'd like to start an open discussion on these 5 things as I've had some difficulties working with other people over the last couple of years and want to "man up" a bit now because my communication difficulties are making certain collaborations impossible. Not only that, i'd like to be a bit more professional in my approach to music.
I consider myself to be a competent drummer (although there's always room for improvement) and have had a lot of people wanting me to work in their bands over the last couple of years.
However I have a problem with feeling 'subservient' in a band. It seems like i quickly creep into this role. its almost like as a drummer i'm noty expected to have much influence over the musical direction - that i'm there to be malleable. I am quite an amiable person and i think people want me onboard because they like me as a person but also see "amiability" as an easy trait to deal with. I quickly get fed up of those in more of a leadership/ directive role. Maybe because i've been very patient with these characters in the past and my patience maybe beginning to dwindle..
As a side project i sing/play folk songs on guitar and banjo - traditional/original/contemporary and get more satisfaction from this because it allows me to make decisions, to explore my musical interests more freely and not to have to deal with the complications of group dynamics - it gives me the creative space i crave and somehow feels more spiritually fulfilling. But i can't help thinking i should be drumming because im good at it!
This outlook may be childish or naive. I may be letting my ego get the best of me and I'm aware that there's room for improving my attitude. I don't understand what's going on to be frank! But have posted this to see if there are other folk who've had similar experiences.