Originally Posted by Spectron
she can't be that religious if she's playing in a Zep Cover band...
My advice is to forget about dating her altogether..
Definately DON'T contact her via phone by getting her number from someone else.
that's a VERY bad idea.
If she flat turned you down on just going out for a bite to eat or coffee, that's a very bad sign regardless of her lame excuse. she probably has the hots for someone else.
infact do the opposite of what your think you should do:
pay her no mind, ignore her - she doesn't exist anymore.
Best case scenario (if you really got the hots for her) she'll approach you
as to why you don't talk to her anymore - that's when you can say:
"Look, you turned me down for a cup of coffee and that's a big red flag for me
all I wanted was to get to know you better but it seems like that was a waste of time"
In my experience, it has never worked out pursuing a girl.
The harder you try the more they reject you - in fact all the girls I've dated
And I find it's best that way - when the girl picks you...
I never had any luck with girls until I stopped caring. I just did my thing, (be myself)
and when I stopped worrying about whether girls noticed me or not, all of a sudden
there were plenty that wanted my number.
over the years I've learned to wait for that specific look - you can see it in their eyes,
in the way they talk to you and body language when they're even slightly interested
then...and only then do you pour on the charm...compliment them..tell them some funny jokes...it's really pretty easy when they start to show even a little interest..
but when they don't show any interest...or worse yet turn you down for a simple
bite to eat or coffee....forget 'em and move on. It's not worth it man, save yourself the
The best thing you can do at this point - is totally forget about her and don't look bummed about it - do the opposite, crack jokes, have a good time, be yourself..
who knows this may even spark her interest into what makes you tick.
She had her shot now it's her turn and if she never comes around...your probably better off - I know - I have seen many of the girls that I thought were hot in college
that had that same attitude - shutting you down and not giving you a chance - 99%
of them turned out later in life as non-attractive, divorced, toothless wonders hooked on meth...
there are plenty of fish in the sea...let one pick you...seriously it is SO much better
than getting your ego kicked in by some stuck up, confused little girl.
You don't want her anyway.
This is great advice in most cases. However, I should have clarified, my reasons for calling her are different than what you would think.
I just wanted to tell her I feel the same way. When I said religious differences what I meant was that I'm the religious one here, she's an atheist. I just wanted to tell her I feel the same way about dating an atheist that she does dating a Christian. What I'm gonna tell her is basically that I feel exactly the same way that she does about me, but I still like her as a person and want to be friends. Nothing sexual or anything.
I think this is the problem with the internet. True feelings don't really get shared, and I think my intentions and what I'm doing is exactly right, my dad even told me so, but that no matter how I word it or explain it every one will think of it in a different way. So basically what I'm saying is, many of the suggestions you guys have given after she rejected me don't really apply in this specific case with this specific person.