Re: Having trouble asking a girl out in college
Everyone is telling the OP to just be confident. As well meaning as that is, if he had the confidence, he wouldn't have started the thread. Confidence isn't an "angle" you can try. It's much deeper than a line. You could fake it till you make it, but that's obvious too.
All people appreciate honesty, women especially. And if you can talk about sex and relationships to women without getting all scared, you're in. They don't want you to impress them with your accomplishments and what you can do as much as they want your attention to be focused squarely on them. Wouldn't you want that too? You don't need confidence for honesty, you just need honesty.
Be honest. You like her. Own the feeling. Tell her, but not in front of her friends initially. Not because you're not confident enough, remember, it's about her. You ask her privately so she doesn't have the uncomfortable choice of having to act a certain way because her friends are there. Also, if person A finds out that person B thinks they are hot, all of a sudden, person B is much more attractive to person A than previously thought.
Questions work great as a starter line. Everyone likes to have someone who is interested in their opinion. After talking a bit about the question, at a good time, with a good segue (important)) you could slip in something like, "you know, the truth is that I'm very attracted to you, did you pick up on that"? After she answers, you can ask her about her perceptions of you, (maybe having a good laugh) and that should be all you need to really talk on a meaningful level with this woman. Remember, use the word "I" as little as possible. Focus on her.
At this point, you should know where you stand by her reaction.
Another tactic I've learned....
Ask her a question, and word it in such a way so that a "no" from her.... will put you in the position you want to be in.
You: Would you be offended if I told you how hot you are?
This question gives the woman a chance to use the word "no", but it's really a green light for you. It's your win/win.
From there, you sweet talk her, and make her feel special. 100% about her. Even if you're no Brad Pitt, if you can truly and unselfishly appreciate your woman, and express that to her (important) it doesn't matter if you're not good looking or confident.
Last edited by larryace; 11-18-2011 at 05:21 PM.