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Old 09-07-2011, 02:01 AM
drummindan8484 drummindan8484 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 149
Default Re: Dealing with a band member you don't like

Originally Posted by fixxxer View Post
The "rockstar" issue- very hard especially for younger members to leave at the curb in a church setting. I've seen this many times and I believe that the praise leader could play a part in minimizing this through, maybe, opening prayer before practice reminding people of why they are there? I've seen this work. I have also been known to pull people to the side and reminded them of why we are there (this was done in a mentorship type of way, not out of hostility).
Age has nothing to do with this, she's probably one of the oldest of us. I'm only 20 and I don't consider myself has having a rockstar attitude, and one of our guitarists is 15 and barely says a word.

We always open with prayer before practice, both on our longer Wednesday practices and our final 30 minute practice on Sunday morning. Obviously this didn't help.

Thanks for all the advice guys, it really means a lot. Since seeing the schedule made me realize that she's probably gonna be off as much as she's on, I think I'll just see how this works out. I'd only resort to asking other band members about problems with her if she really does something horrible. The ones who I'm concerned about are the 3 women that came forward from the beginning, they clearly have become friends and I really wonder what they think about her (other than the one who is her boss).

ETA: She switched her next singing week to next Sunday, so I'm getting a nice little break actually (this will be week 3). I also suggested to my dad (and he agreed) to keep the changes in the sound setup completely confidential when she's around, as if she hears about it she may think she's having influence and is important and could get worse.

ETA 2: That thing I just said about the sound system may be completely irrelevant as we decided to go back to our old way of doing things of separate mixes in the monitors and the mains. We tried it tonight with everything including the bass, which was the only thing before that wasn't going through the system, and it sounded absolutely atrocious. And loud. I actually would have worn ear plugs had I had them. Keep in mind this is with me on an electronic kit. Not really relevant to this conversation per se, just wanted to throw it out there as it really made practice less enjoyable.

Last edited by drummindan8484; 09-08-2011 at 06:56 AM.
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