Originally Posted by alparrott
Couple of thoughts here. First, it appears to be your dad's band, and son or not, you're a hired gun. If she does something specifically targeting you with bad attitude, then I would bring it up, either to her or to your dad; until then, it's exclusively his problem to deal with or not as he sees fit.
Second, you're in a worship band in a church. Such bands are extremely fortunate if they get one or two musicians with professional music experience. Most of the rest of the performers are amateurs with varying degrees of musical talent and maturity. The trick is taking all this raw talent and synthesizing it into something that enables the church body to connect with God. The egos of the musicians are somewhere around dead last in consideration. She may just need a bit of mentorship to understand this. As far as the vocal mix in the monitors - I myself nearly always shut off every vocal except the leader's, and his is just loud enough to hear to keep verse and chorus separate. Is that because I don't like him or think he's a bad vocalist? No - it's just not what I need to hear. A backing vocalist turning down the leader in the wedges is not usual, but I wouldn't dismiss it out of hand, nor automatically think of it as disrespect.
I honestly am going to try and reply to all of these individually because these are all excellent. This one caught my attention the most so I'll start here:
1. You are right about the amateurs and all that. Our keyboardist is a trained church organist, was the organist at this church for years and plays quite frequently since the current organist at the traditional service is terminally ill. Other than him, none are really professional. All are good though.
2. The monitors are completely out of our control, our soundman controls everything. Truthfully, if she were one of the ones that were there from the beginning and I hadn't seen all the other crap she's done, this wouldn't have bothered me as badly. When you're new though, it's a pretty big stretch. And couldn't she have asked to have herself turned up? Anyway, we're changing our sound setup so that the way the mix sounds in the monitors is the same way that it sounds out front, so this could shut her up.