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Old 09-04-2011, 05:32 AM
drummindan8484 drummindan8484 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 149
Default Dealing with a band member you don't like

I've been playing in church with the band (under my dad's leadership) at their new contemporary service since this past February, and it has truly been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I've learned so much about playing with other musicians, and the people are just truly stellar. However, after 6 months of greatness, a problem arose.

A 4th vocalist approached my dad about joining a few months ago, and while she was away for most of the summer in the fascinating state of South Dakota, she just started practicing with us and sang with us for the first time 2 weeks ago. While I have only met her 3 times (2 practices and 1 rehearsal), she's already starting to piss me off. The first time we practiced with her, I had no problem with her. Can't say I liked her, but she didn't bother me either. The 2nd time, I just noticed that she seemed a bit odd and was trying to act all rockstarish during some of the songs. A few days after that, she sends my dad an email complaining about our strongest singer's voice being "operatic" and having too much "verbato" (yes that's how she spelled it) and blamed her inability to sing harmony on the other woman's voice. This is not my responsibility, I know, but this really pissed me off, as the woman she was criticizing is truly an awesome person and is very very talented. Then the next Sunday at practice, she seriously had the audacity to ask our soundman to to turn my dad's voice down in the monitors. Then she continues to bitch about the monitor mix to one of the other singers. I'm seriously concerned for what this woman is gonna say or do next, and I already have this awful feeling that she's starting to change the dynamic of the group. I trust my dad to handle things as needed, but still this is really pissing me off.

So here's the question. What's the easiest way to deal with a band member you dislike? Do I just ignore her (it's very easy), do I try to like her and maybe look for positives, or do I just hope that she quits (been doing it already)?
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