Re: Kicking someone out of the band
Based on how you have described it, this is a textbook case on how to properly handle this kind of situation. You took an interest in the drummer as a person and as a musician and offered to help him improve. Hell, I've never even heard of that sort of thing happening! He was too lazy, distracted and immature to improve himself and your offer probably intimidated him.
People who are mature and secure take ownership of what happens to them and they don't blame others for stuff like this. This drummer sounds like he himself was a lot closer to 19 in age, instead of 33. You deserve to have friends who are on your level of maturity. Like Maya Angelou said, when people reveal themselves to you, believe them.