Re: Kicking someone out of the band
I'd say if you still want to be friends, and he was your best friend before...ignore his request not to contact him and keep up your end of the friendship. If he needs to blow up at you, let him. Once he gets it out of his system and you are still there being a friend, it should blow over eventually.
You have to kind of...be a parent sort of...let him be immature, don't get upset, just be understanding, and he should come around after a while.
Just be honest and say that the drumming thing is separate from the friend thing, and the drumming thing wasn't working out for the others, but he is just what you need/want as a friend. His drumming is not a measure of the friendship you guys have. Let him know how much you value him as a friend. Elaborate, it's what he needs to hear.
Put your feelings aside and help him deal with his.