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Old 07-21-2011, 08:49 PM
Sever Dismember Drummer Sever Dismember Drummer is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 8
Default Kicking someone out of the band

ok I have a dilemma, I'm the vox for a black metal band and drummer for a death metal band.

My drummer for the black metal band got a girlfriend and asked her everytime whether it was ok if he came to rehearsals (he's a 33 yr old man btw and his gf is 19). He began skipping out, and he was not very good on top of that, everytime we wanted to suggest something he'd become defensive and become dramatic. We also were willing to pay for him to go to school and get lessons to help him get better (which he said he would do anyway) and he kept making excuses like "I dont have money" I replied 'We will pay for it', then he said "Oh I dont have time", I said ' it's only about an hr for 1 day out of the week, no time really lost there', then he said " but i need to work as much as possible", then I said ' your job is part time and prob the most flexible job in the world for going to school ad tandom'.

but despite all of the back and fourth , he never went to school, in fact his drumming became worse, because he allowed himself to be controlled by someone else's decisions but his own.

so, we went to his place and told him it wasn't working out ( in a calm and actually... nice manner) and even offered to help him move gear, but despite all he was very angry and emotional and took his stuff and never talked to us again... until today.

I messaged him on FB and wanted to see how he was doing.
his reply: "honestly don't email me anymore, I don't want to be friends"

I was crushed, he was my best friend and I have never kicked anyone out of a band before; I still feel horrible even though technically, I didn't do anything wrong... but why do I feel so terrible...
really depressed right now.

If you have a story please post it I would like to know how you would handle it, or how you did handle kicking someone out of a band;

Also any story where you were kicked out of the band, and how you handled it.

thanks
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