Once I was playing in my high school Wind Ensemble, Michael Daugherty's Bells for Stokowski. The song had a very intense Tympani part, which I was barely up to on familiar Tympani's but this school's Tympani, although very nice, didn't have the tuning range I was used to.
I screwed up throughout the entire piece, including not playing at all in one of the two solos.
Before that, I failed to pack the triangle (hate the triangle) for Mozart's Wedding of Figaro, and walked around the stage like a doofus until deducing it's absence and exiting stage left.
Once I had an audition for a Tunes for Charity event. It was A rock band playing Freebird.
The band leader was involved in organisation of the the event, so our audition was practically a formality, but the kit I had to play on was atrocious.
The bass drum had no spurs, it looked like it couldn't be younger than 30 years old. It was so out-of-tune that once the towel we had draped over it had finished it's journey off the shell, clinging to the pedal's beater and onto the floor, it sounded like a trash can.
There were only two toms, both mounted off the same stand in front of the snare, so I couldn't even get any 4-piece action in. They were both super dusty and out-of-tune as well.
The snare was fine, but given the circumstances, i couldn't lay into it while still hearing any of the rest of the band, so that sounded lame.
weren't: I had one orchestral suspended cymbal to my right. No good for riding, weak bell, couldn't crash or I'd loose my ride.
I didn't play so good.
Night of the actual gig however...