My stepdad wouldn't allow my brother to grow a goatee when he was 18 so I'm getting a kick....
I would take the gear somewhere else and practice, and not discuss anything music/drum related to him. When I was in highschool I could play the school's kit because I was respectful to the instructor. You have to know someone in a band or someone with a drum kit. A nice neighbor with garage space that allows you to practice in turn for mowing their lawn. Use all your resources.