Originally Posted by keep it simple
Not good Larry, at least, not in my book. Sure, canvass opinion, but if something's to be said, do so directly. The perception of "Chinese whispers" within the band is not a good starting point.
The only thing any of the band can do about this is to kick the singer out - I know that sounds harsh, and it is, but there is really no other alternative (OK, the whole band could break up). The other members of the band need to decide amongst themselves if this is what they want to do, then immediately break it to the singer. Sometimes people need to discuss things privately.
The singer's wife is psycho and will create unbearable stress for the singer and, in turn, the rest of the band. This poor fellow has a big dark cloud that follows him to gigs and flies into a gig-destroying rage. You just can't deal with that baggage.