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Old 03-08-2011, 07:35 PM
Jim Mattingly Jim Mattingly is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 186
Default Re: Homogenous Blend A Must-Family>Music>Career

Originally Posted by Witterings View Post
I was only thinking about starting a post like this 2 days ago.

I've been with the other half for 20 yrs married with 2 kids and sold my drums as I wasn't using them shortly after we met so she's never really known me as a drummer.

We've always kept the weekends as sacrosanct between us and family time and avoided guys / girls nights out on Fridays and Saturdays but during the week I get pretty much a free rein and could do what I like. About 5 years ago some of the dads at the local school got a band back together and we did gigs once every 4 months or so but they were charity type things and loads of people the wife knew would be there so she was happy to come along.
That band broke up really due to family pressures on the bass player but I'd got hooked and started taking it a lot more seriously and taking lesson / religiously practicing and joined another band that were only going to gig ever 2 months or so. We've now done our
1st few gigs and are getting ask backs to all the venues we've done every 6 weeks or so along with other people seeing us and wanting to book us in as well.
The Mrs is trying to be understanding / supportive especially as I used to be a sports fanatic but due to injury have had to give it all up and she thinks it's good I have other interests to replace ones I can no longer do but I know she hates it when I go off to gigs on Fridays and Saturdays and doesn't want to be sitting in a bar on her own and hour from home just to watch me play.
I think the hardest part of it is if we'd always done our own thing or had say regular boys / girls nights out on Fridays / Saturdays it wouldn't be a problem but she also sees it as a complete change in previous behaviour and wonders what that's all about. I also feel dragged away when on a Friday at 6.00 / 7.00pm we'd normally start unwinding with a couple of drinks and the start of the weekend but instead I'm packing up the car to leave her for an evening.
I honestly don't know what the answer is, I love playing and don't want to give it up and could easily do mid week gigs but most pubs only want you on teh busy Fridays / Saturdays. Thinks it would be easier to justify if it was my living and we could adjust our lifetsyle / evenings together accordingly but not so easy when it's a holiday and I still have work every day during the week.
Not easy whichever way you look at it and wish I knw what the answer is !!!!!
The two replies I have received so far to this posting are just what I was hoping would come back, very honest, thanks. It is very difficult to juggle all three and it does in fact take a ton of work to make all three mix well. Glad to hear you are still playing and trying to make it work, if you are like me it would be hard to give up on any of them. I cetainly wish you well, on all fronts. This is a very tough but real topic many of us are faced with and my intention was to hopefully get real replies to possibly help others to properly navigate through this reality in hopes that may continue to do all. Thanks again, keep the faith..
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