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Old 02-11-2011, 09:20 PM
chaymus chaymus is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 336
Default Re: I can't take it anymore! Wife smokes, I don't. Tips are welcome!

Originally Posted by chathamight View Post
venting about how the guitarist solos in your tunes too much or how soundmen are jerks at gigs are total different arenas than domestic issues like possibly leaving your wife because you don't like her smoking anymore.

i'll give it to you straight man. you say you've smoked for ten years, but with your annoyance at your wife not being able to drop the habit like you did, makes me suspect you weren't a REAL smoker. if you were a real smoker, you'd realize that nothing can make a smoker stop except themself. all the nagging, all the replacements, all that stuff is useless...the only that makes a real smoker stop is the smoker's mindset, being able to realize they've been duped for all these years. smokers already know the habit sucks...waste of money...bad for the health...stinks etc. she already feels guilty by the rituals she goes through before you guys have sex. now you as her partner can be compassionate and support her positively, knowing how hard it is to reverse all this brainwashing society and cigarette companies have instilled into people about this habit. or you can try this negative reinforcement people are suggesting, the ultimatums, the replacement therapy and keep up the spiral, make things worse in the marriage and possibly divorce. this is why a marriage counselor would be more suitable for advice (if this is really the problem).
another thing is that when you got married, you knew she smoked. you knew this and accepted it. i think the saying goes, you made your bed, now lie in it.

don't take the bluntness personally, it's not. just saying that something as important as this, if this is really a problem, should be handled by professionals.
This is very well said.
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