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Old 02-11-2011, 04:40 PM
chaymus chaymus is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 336
Default Re: I can't take it anymore! Wife smokes, I don't. Tips are welcome!

I'm on the other side where my wife recently quit and I continue to smoke. I definitely recognize how awful it can be especially in a marriage for one to smoke and the other not. Here are some things that I do and most I did before I quit:
1) never smoke in the house, it carries into everything and makes all your clothes smell et cetera.
2) I don't smoke in her car.
3) I brush my teeth and use mouth wash before any intimacy.
4) Washing my face is critical, now that I'm more conscientious with her not smoking I can tell how much it really just gets into your skin.

Other suggestions:
The type of cigarette matters to some degree, some brands have a worse smell.
Your affliction to the scent while not uncommon is very severe. Nausea at a 3rd hand level is a pretty extreme reaction and I would consider asking a doctor if you've developed an allergy or something.
It could also be a mentally induced reaction if it's a rather recent thing, might want to see if there are other stressers that come out as a problem with smoking. I tend to pick trivial spats with my wife when there's usually an underlying thing that is completely unrelated but the real issue.

If she is making efforts to be accommodating I think divorce is rather extreme. But keep in mind that as a smoker you're also attacking her identity when you hold your nose. Yes I know I stink, but if my wife did that I'd be hurt. At times I do feel left behind a bit because she was able to quit and I "cannot".

Best of luck working through it, it sounds terrible but I have a feeling I'll be going through something similar before I know it. Also, Congratulations on 4 years!
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