I hear ya. I love metal, but I can't hang with the constant screaming, growling, with every song being played as fast as you can with no melody or dynamics that seems to plague so many metal bands today.
But what I love:
All of the last three Katatonia
Viva Emptiness (2003)
The Great Cold Distance (2006)
Night Is the New Day (2009)
They are heavy, but no growling with lots of soft melodic passages. They are what you described to a T.
Another band I like is from Finland called "Before the Dawn" who are known as a melodic death metal band (?). They have heavy passages with growling, but they also have a great singer who actually sings with a great clean voice.
Before the Dawn also released a side project of material under the name "Dawn of Solace"
One of my all time favorite songs: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JO1k4ZJjgFY
Then you can get into the female fronted bands
All of which are in heavy rotation in my CD player.
Also worth mentioning is a band from Austria called "Dead Soul Tribe" who aren't as heavy, they more of an alt-hard rock band, but they have a fantasic lead singer, and really good song writing. The singer from Dead Soul Tribe however recently put the band on hiatus and put out a new album with a new band called Shadow Theory
And look up some the bands DW members are in.
PQleyR is this band http://www.myspace.com/sorcerersspell
which fits the bill.
And check out Naigewron's band here: http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/s...ad.php?t=67575