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Old 12-21-2010, 07:27 PM
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Aeolian Aeolian is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Santa Cruz CA
Posts: 1,999
Default Re: Band wives and female patrons

Few years back at a New Years gig at a winery (private function for bunch of rich friends of the winery owner) the leader invited women who wanted to to come onstage and dance. It was a pretty high energy night as many New Years gigs are and everybody was having fun. Some woman got up behind the male percussionist/back up singer and started the 'ol grindy hips thing (she wasn't really pressing into him, just dancing close). The guy kind of froze with this uncomfortable look on his face and didn't know what to do. The band wives were dancing in a group and my wife and the bass players wife had to physically restrain the singers wife who was ready to storm the stage and "kill that bitch" and other less polite expletives. The dancing woman backed off when the singer didn't play along and went back to her other friends on stage. No biggie. But the poor singer left the group a few months later. I don't think he's ever gotten back on a stage since.

The original keyboard player in that band's wife would come to some gigs and watch him like a hawk. While the other wives would get up and dance together, she would just sit there. Funniest thing was, there was no chance of anything to worry about. The guy was such a nerd that he was completely tongue tied if a woman said boo to him. I tried to explain to him about the value of PR. Have a friendly conversation, get their names, dedicate a song to "our new friends xxxxx...." and so on. So this bunch of slightly lit women approach the stage during a break at another high end private function and he stammers and trips all over promising to dedicate a song to them. I wish I could have videoed the whole thing to show his wife.

If folks are going to "take advantage" of situations and cheat on their spouses, there are much easier ways to go about it, with much less public fanfare. Either you trust your spouse or you don't. The old adage of not doing anything you wouldn't do if your spouse was there really counts in this day of everyone having a camera in their pocket that they can post to youtube on the spot. You might not even be the subject but pretty much everything you do these days is likely to end up in the public domain.

As for the particulars of Larry's situation. I think the singer needs to have a reasonably professional boundary. A brush, hug or dance is one thing. A kiss on the cheek from someone at the center of some party, is one thing. But in my view, he should have stopped the woman from kissing him on the mouth, wife present or not. Every entertainer needs to be prepared for hecklers, drunks and all that stuff that will happen at a show. Deflect and defuse, make a joke out of it, keep it light, make it part of the show. But keep it professional and somewhat above a drunken frat party. JMHO.
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