Re: Band wives and female patrons
I disagree, I think you have to say something.
What to say, I'm not sure. But that kind of behavior is going to cost you gigs.
Either because the band will get thrown out, or plain old not asked back in the future because no one wants to deal the trouble.
Think about it: What if the other woman had been the bar owners sister? Or a writer for a local newspaper? Or the owner of a different entertainment venue that was considering offering the band a better gig? Chance are, probably not this time, but if this behavior continues, it's bound to cause problems, because her behavior reflects on the band as a whole.
Back when I was single and playing a lot, if I was seeing someone, and they started in on some crap like that over something mild, they got an earful from me. It's band, stuff happens, and it's part of the show. My wife and I have been together so long now because we realize we can't help what other people do, we can only control ourselves.
Sure, if your singer had somehow reciprocated the womans actions, his wife would have a reason. But he's the singer, he's going to get some attention. You play in front of people drinking, and drunk people are going to do dumb stuff. If the singers wife is going to get mad because people like that band, then you're not going to have much of band after a while.