DMC, re: the friendship. It seems to me that he and I got along best when we were just dealing with non-musical things. When it comes to music he's an old folky/acoustic blues guy and he only thinks of drums and rhythm in the most perfunctory manner. Most of the songs he waxes lyrical about have no drums at all or the drums are so subservient as to be besides the point. A lot of this music doesn't operate on strict time, and I have the impression that he sees strict time as "mechanical".
I think that's 90% of the problem. Rubbery time is great if 1) you don't have a full band to hold together or 2) the whole band is so brilliant they can play with the time effectively.
Originally Posted by DeathMetalConga
It sounds like the guitarist knows what you all are thinking and doesn't want to hear it. Any other attempts to get this across to him will go just as poorly. People won't change unless they really want to and it doesn't sound like he wants to.
Apart from it being our keys player and not our (main) guitarist (who did the lovely flamenco-esque lines in the second version), what you say strikes me as pretty spot on. I think the logic goes like this ... this is a hobby band so everyone should be able to do what they like rather than have to play lines that aren't very exciting.
I don't relate to this attitude because, no matter what the musical situation, I have a standard I want to attain and anything less bugs me. A great way to learn is to receive feedback from other band members IMO. Taking advice to change a part you are working on that is hitting a spot for you isn't easy. There is a letting-go process, where your ego and peccadillos are put aside for the greater good.
My mother was an author and when I was into writing she always advised me to "murder your darlings". (No, not an incitement to treacherous criminal activity). She meant that sometimes you come with with cool turns of phrase but you have to let them go if they are detrimental to the flow of the overall tale being told.
I'm getting close to letting go in another way - being more ho hum about the band and getting back to my recently-neglected cartooning ...