Originally Posted by Pollyanna
Late last year our singer and I tried to get him to tidy things up be he got all insecure and huffy and suggested that maybe we might like to find someone better (Why not just simplify FFS!). Since he doesn't tell us what to play I guess he thinks we should provide the same courtesy (we are much more tight than he is).
Occasionally a couple of us have tried dealing with specifics ... "How about trying this or that?" and he may or may not go for it.
Has anyone found a way of diplomatically dealing with this situation - or can think of something?
Any ideas? It's not end-of-the-world because we're in it for the fun, but it's an irritation because it limits our fun.
It sounds like the guitarist knows what you all are thinking and doesn't want to hear it. Any other attempts to get this across to him will go just as poorly. People won't change unless they really want to and it doesn't sound like he wants to.
Your choice is to accept him as-is, including the effect he brings to your music, or find someone else. No use putting him and the rest of the band through such difficult confrontations that will produce nothing. He will either ignore you, as he usually does, or get defensive, as he occasionally does. The ball remains in your court, as it always has.
Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.