Re: Decisions Decisions
Oooo, that's a killer situation. May I ask, do you play purely for pleasure and the band vibe, or are you more tuned to success?
That answer aside, I think this Tom guy sounds like a bit of a jerk. I get the impression he'd be difficult to work with and lacks social graces. Any band member who is prepared to use the band as a vehicle for his infidelity is going to be a problem.
My gut feeling is, if you really feel you need to progress, and your current band isn't doing it for you, then leave, but don't jump in with Tom's crew. That would really burn bridges and rub your band mates noses in it. On the other hand, if you're enjoying the crack and don't have strong ambition, stay around, at least for a while.
If this Tom is good, and he thinks you're good enough to step up a notch or two, then he's not the only one who'll notice that. Good things come to those that wait.
Remember, "Every silver lining has a cloud"!