Re: Should I be upset??
Sounds like you have a pretty good thing going on with these bandmates. It's a gripe to be sure, but you went into drumming knowing it's a pain to break the kit down and transport it, set up, etc. And it's a pain in the arse to move it, etc. And really frustrating when nobody helps you load in and out. Maybe downsize the kit when you have to transport? Whenever I play out and a house kit is provided and I only have to bring my sticks, I try and help out my bandmates move their gear. It's a tradeoff.
But you are not alone. Drummers throughout history have dealt with this issue. Transporting the kit, set up, take down, load out, etc., etc., etc.
Hang in there! Good luck!
I don't aim to be the best, just the best looking.