Re: Should I be upset??
It seems like your only (rehearsal) problem is the kit transportation thing. You have to be sorta flexible as well. You may need to (gasp) downsize. I know, it's horrible to hear anyone suggest that but, you may need to at least consider it. As far as your bassist goes, my advice would be to try to explain to him that you want to gain a better understanding of bass so that you know how to play drums in a way that is most conductive to locking in a solid bass groove, or some other lie. I hate it when people think like that. If you liked playing bass so much, then why are you playing drums in the band? Can't people accept that some people like playing more than one instrument?
*edit* I saw your kit, yeah not much downsizing can be done. So your main issue still stands. Sorry.