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Old 11-30-2009, 06:11 PM
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davidr davidr is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Cambridge, UK
Posts: 189
Default Re: Worst Gig Experiences?

Here goes...

We are playing this pub that is trying to establish itself as an up-and-coming venue for new live acts which means pushing out all of the miserable old guys that come to drink there on their own. Well we are the first band to play there and needless to say they haven't quite managed the transition and the clientel consists of 10 haggard guys trying to forget it all.

The venue has no equipment so we provide everything and have to set up in the corner where the entrance to the men's toilet is, with the drums in a sort of cubic, bare-brick alcove from which I have to move the heaviest pool table in the world.

When we start playing the alcove is acting as some kind of mental reverb chamber so that the drums sound like noise soup. The guitarist has been positioned such that whenever someone goes to the toilet, he has to stand sideways like when someone passes you in a corridor, so that the person can go for a piss.

During tunings, the bassist is getting the one person who turned up that we know to buy him drinks, and at the end, dissilusioned by the sheer existentialism of the whole affair, I see him slowly turn to face me, bleary-eyed and wobbling on his feet. Then in slow motion, I see him run towards the kit and launch himself. I have a freeze frame of him horizontal, still looking me in the eyes and I swear still playing the bass part, then he just crashes through the kit, taking out the crash and the hi hats before rolling under the snare and just lying there. The old codgers by the bar all turn their heads, registering what has happened, don't change their facial expressions at all and then, in unison, turn back to stare into their half-empty pint glasses. We never went back.
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