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Old 11-05-2008, 10:07 PM
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Deathmetalconga Deathmetalconga is offline
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Location: Boise, Idaho
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Default Re: My family don't like my being a musician....

Originally Posted by SnareBass View Post
This is STUPID!

I've been a performing musician now for two years, two as a bassist and for the last 2months, a drummer.

My problem- my family are non-musicians and seem militant in their disgust for my music.
What makes it worse is that I'm a Christian Rock drummer, and my family (for the majority) are strict atheists.
So this is causing a lot of tension and stress, mostly for me. Up until now, only my (Christian) grandparents have been to hear me play anything, at a small university event. I can't talk about playing music with them, and I can't even really play drums in the house.

Anyone got any idea what I could do to help sort this out? I've tried explaining to them how much it means but nothing has got through.
Sorry, but I gotta laugh at this. Most parents would be freaked out if their kids announced they were atheist. Now, your family is atheist and they're freaked out you play in a religious band! Clearly, you live in Europe. My observation is that most atheists are pretty tolerant of any religion that does not involve Christ, but you will quickly find the limits of openmindedness if you mention Christianity.

You can't change others and they can't change you. I just wouldn't mention that part of my life to them. They're obviously not ready for you to come out of the closet on this.

How old are you? You hinted you still live with your parents. Until you move out of the house and are on your own, they have considerable power over what you do, whether you like it or not. Maybe find a friend and do music over at his house. If they really want to be mean, they can more or less deny you the ability to play music and practice your religion.

It sounds like it's about them validating their values and tastes through you - they see you as rejecting them. Music and religion are healthy choices young people may make as they mature. If they use their power as parents to take these things from you, they should know that they will damage their relationship with you as you move into adulthood.
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