Originally Posted by coolhand1969
When I was younger (teens/20's), I actually tried to get addicted to smoking. Almost everyone I knew smoked. Strangely, I just did not get addicted. Fast forward to 6 years ago, I lost my mother, my son was taken from me, I lost my job and eventually the family home. Drinking heavily to try and kill the pain, I picked up the smokes and before I knew it, they were an everyday part of my life.
I have not been able to stop yet, I know a 1000 reasons to quit and not a good one to continue, but right now I am not ready. I was sober for 9 years and took this back up again, there will be a time to stop both, just not now. I will know when it is.
Beating yourself up will do no good. You have time, the lungs are a remarkable organ, they repair themselves after an amount of time.
I wish you luck and success in whatever you do.
It sounds like you are hurting
I am no longer living with my children
If you want someone to talk to about things PM me