Re: rods for lower volume?
I'm with Bo on this. If you really want to , sure - go buy another drum kit and maybe experiment with electronics.
But nothing will be better for your long term career as a drummer than learning how to play quieter...and still 'burn' if you have to. And yeah, tune the drums down a bit, maybe some controlled heads and different cymbals.
Of course, it depends on what kind of music you are playing. Certain styles demand hard hitting...but not what you describe. Playing lots of Clapton? Check out Steve Gadd playing that gig on youtube - it sure ain't about hitting hard...it's all about Gadd's groove and his impeccable touch. It will make you a better metal drummer too....just better all around.
Crank the Reso ™