Re: rods for lower volume?
Maybe you could tune your drums down and lose some of that crack. You can even try 'softer' heads - like pinstripes or Evans Hydraulics, tuned down so when you play at close to your normal volume, you're not shaking everybody up around you.
Or, you could just adjust your technique to be able to play softer. It's been done. But tuning down is still necessary because you need the drum to speak well when you play soft, and a cranked up set of drums that respond well to hard-hitting do not sound good soft.