Re: Am I a terrible drummer?
The crux of this particular biscuit is how one deals with critique. Critique can easily sound like criticism, and it's easy to deliver critique as criticism if one is not careful. Try and ignore any emotions a bad delivery stirs and focus on what's really being suggested. People can unintentionally hurt with words, just let it roll off your back.
On another note, it took me a while before I was able to hear everything going on. For a bunch of years in the beginning of my drumming journey, my "listening sphere" didn't expand past the drums. Playing good drums requires good listening skills, (means listening to the others) and a knowledge of what the role of the drumset is in an ensemble situation.
Like generally speaking, unless your name is Keith Moon, the drums are not a lead instrument. They lay down the pavement so the lead players can roll their leads out. Of course the drums are much more than that, but you have to have that going on as Job 1, generally speaking.
Great art is born out of great pain.