Re: Am I a terrible drummer?
Lots of good points brought up here. But this statement may also be a clue:
"These are things that I've always felt very strongly that should be left to the drummer himself"
If you are focused on you it will show up. You need to be focused on the overall sound and provide your part of it. And if you are playing Beatles music as a tribute in a school band and the director wants you to play more like Ringo, then that is what you need to do.
What none of us can tell is how good you are or what kind of band director you have. You may be giving us the impression you get from him but that may not be the impression we would get if we watched the interaction. It is ALWAYS best when being criticized is to listen and evaluate for yourself. As humans, and even moreso when we are young, we tend to not take criticism well. EVen if the band director is being too harsh on you, by listening and evaluating and improving it will help you in the long run.
A picture of your set up and a video of your playing would allow us to evaluate more objectively.