Re: Am I a terrible drummer?
A bad drummer will make a good band sound bad. And a bad band will make a good drummer sound bad. If your listeners are comfortable with what you're doing, and you're confident in your abilities, don't worry about it. More often than not, we're our own worst critics. I often find that when I'm playing in front of a crowd, even if I make an obvious mistake, nobody notices. Even bandmates don't really notice. As long as time is being kept, more often than not, people pay us little mind.
As for your director, he's just one of those judgmental prudes who thinks if you aren't playing how 'he' thinks you should play, it's wrong, and you need to change it. I've met enough chaps like that in my lifetime, and I'm sure I'll meet hundreds more. Ignore it, and hold your head up.