Re: Am I a terrible drummer?
You like being in band and want to stay, right?
So go to your director and ask for specific things to fix in regards to your playing. Listen and apply what he says best you can. If he's criticizing, he should know enough to explain what he wants.
With setup, you might find setting your kit up more like Ringo might make certain parts easier to play in some fashion. AND it might placate your director some and get him off your back.
Dedication? Only you can answer that one. If you honestly feel like you're dedicated, maybe up it a notch anyway. It's drums! So the worst that happens is a few more sticks and heads get worn out and you get better, right?