Well, after some major due diligence, hundreds of emails with dozens of dealers, and eventually visiting dealers where snakes and weasels play shell games, and bait & switch is still alive, I found a dealership that said they'd meet my out the door price... and they actually did! In fact the entire process was fast, easy, no pressure, it was suspiciously painless. After a genuinely enjoyable purchasing experience, I drove home last night in my new Odyssey!
Thanks again for all of your input, I kinda knew at the start that it was gonna be the Honda! :)