Re: Random Thoughts
I believe the prevalence of cancer is a side effect of the Industrial Revolution. I grew up playing in the oil fields in old Huntington Beach back when it was nothing but oil fields and bean fields. I can just imagine all the toxic stuff I might have been exposed to. After 10 years of unimaginable pain and certainty of an eminent early demise, I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor back when I was 27. It's right in the middle of my brain on the pituitary gland, and it was huge. Luckily, it was the one type of tumor that could be shrunken with medicine. Just a little white pill once per day was all that was needed to save my life. The tumor causes what is known as cluster headaches, otherwise known as suicide headaches. I did consider it a couple times. Usually the headaches would last a minute or two like the brain is on fire, then it went away. But there was three times when they didn't go away, they just kept coming over and over and over for five hours straight. That's why they are called suicide headaches. it's hard to describe a pain that renders suicide as the only option left. Well, somehow I didn't. I had a job and finally got healthcare after not having it for ten years. (i love this country to death) I got diagnosed finally.
Now I don't know if I'd call myself a cancer survivor, but it sure has shaped the course of my life for better or worse. It wasn't a malignant tumor, but still it was in my head and growing ever larger with more and more severe side effects increasing in intensity and duration.
I took that pill for 11 years. I lost my health insurance in 2008 again so I had to stop taking the medicine. So far I'm doing fine and there are no problems, so I guess the medicine worked. It shrank the tumor. All my cluster headaches went away. I hope it stays that way.
I don't need anybody's sympathy. Who ever said life is fair? There's a lot of pain out there. Misery creeps in if you let it. What's funny is that as bad as this pain was, the pain of a broken heart was just as bad. That's a wound that seems to last forever.
I see my light come shining