Re: Random Thoughts
Guys, I really appreciate your kind thoughts & guidance. I don't want to pour my damaged soul out here for fear of boring you all, but my mental challenge is this. I fully contextualise my mother's passing, as I do my father's shortly after, but it's the way my mother died that I just can't get out of my head. Visions of her final weeks haunt me terribly. On the day she died, her tumour was more than 50% of her body mass, & in the last two weeks was growing by over 2LB a day!. I spent the last 4 weeks listening to my mother screaming 24 hours a day. On one occasion I had to physically restrain my brother from smothering her with a pillow. She had a fairly rare & unbelievably aggressive form of ovarian cancer. The doctors told us early on that they could keep her pain free - they lied. There was a time when doctors would keep increasing morphine doses, & perhaps adding heroine until the patient died. That time has gone, & doctors are scared to do anything that could be perceived as euthanasia. My mother paid a very heavy price for their PC adherence to our society's insistence on legal claim infested protocol. I'm tempted to go into an anti political/religious lobby rant, but I won't.
Sorry for burdening you on this fine drum forum, but my anger is fairly consuming at times.