Re: reporting in (downer alert)
Thanks everyone for the well wishes, but we're all ok. The pain is gone and he's in a happier place. The mood in the last day since I posted this has changed to a more positive one. Family will be coming in for the biggest Hawaiian send-off we've ever done so we've switched into special event-mode. The family is pulling closer together and everyone is quite happy. We never seem to do anything small and quiet.
It's a strange place to be in because while dad was sick, you're bummed out because you know you're gonna lose him, but you know you're just being selfish in hopes that he won't go because he'll be in considerable pain to stay just because you want him to. When he finally passed, enough relief comes that you feel guilty because you feel like you're not grieving enough. Mom has declared that we're done grieving (she's stronger than I thought her to be all these years) and we're moving forward. Dad has gone off on his Big Adventure so we're going to celebrate that too.
I'm still a little shaky, as friends have told me I will be, but we all get through it. I've been wondering if medical technology is so great these days - according to the doctors, all kinds of things could've been done to prolong dad's agony, and mom smartly chose not to do that. As much as you hate to lose someone to cancer (or to anything) the relief of seeing him peacefully at rest as I said my final good-bye was much better than I thought it would be.
Thanks Drummerworld friends for being there in this great community of ours.