Re: New band problems...
I would have concerns about the singer, but they may not be unsurmountable. I have no issue with the singer having to read off lyrics sheets, as long as he has learned them all by the time of the first gig. Personally I can never remember all my lyrics when I sing, so I use cheat sheets, although I'm certainly not the front man either. Is the singer improving, or is it status quo? Do other band members sing, either leads or backing vocals? Are there any issues with that?
Personally I've never had girlfriends/wives at rehearsals. They do come to gigs and sometimes help with setup/takedown, but are never involved with the gig otherwise. If another bandmember had their GF/wive come up on stage to sing, and couldn't add value to the band performance, I would not be too happy.
Do you have a first gig scheduled yet? You may want to wait another couple weeks to see if there are improvements in some areas. After waiting 8 years you probably don't want to kill this opportunity until you're totally confident it is not the right situation.
"Through many dangers, toils and snares..." - Amazing Grace, third verse